Hating to Hate

Hate

I usually try NOT to be a negative person.  In fact, one of the things I “hate” is people being super negative.  The more negative people are, the more obnoxious they appear to me, which makes me angry and negative and I hate it!  I sort of become what I hate.  Weird, huh?

There are lots of things I dislike, but I still try to maintain a positive attitude.  Most of the time even when I don’t feel very positive on the inside I try to appear to be positive on the outside and give off positive vibes, mostly in the hopes that it will take my lousy rotten mood and turn it around and then I actually WILL start feeling better and more positive.  I like being happy and positive.

I have found in the last few weeks of our restaurant ownership that there are lots of people in the world who seem to thrive on negativity and being unhappy.  It almost seems like the only thing that makes them happy is to make other people miserable.  They only get happy when those around them are brought down to their level. 

At our restaurant I make it a point to try to hug everyone who comes in.  I either get them coming in or I get them leaving.  Sometimes I will even walk over to their table and give them a hug right where they are sitting.  I find that the majority of people seem to appreciate the gesture and it seems to lighten their mood.  The other plus is it makes ME feel better.  I love giving hugs and hubby says if I’m not careful my whole front is going to turn into one big callous from hugging so many people.  I say you can never get too many hugs.

I have noticed that there have been a few (and I do men a VERY few people)who seem to shy away from the physical aspect of being hugged and there are a couple of people who have come in who come in negative and just seem to thrive on trying to make everyone else around them absolutely miserable.  I refuse to give in to their negativity.  In fact, I take it as a personal challenge to break through that barrier and MAKE them be in a better mood. By golly they are going to be happy even if I have to MAKE them!

Case in point, there is one lady who has come in several times in the last week.  She comes in and kind of avoids me like the plague.  When the servers come to her table she is short and curt with them and says no more to them than she has to.  When they (or I) go back to the table to make sure everything is okay, she will usually throw up her hand, as if to stop you, while you are still two booths away and usually won’t even take the time to say anything.  Just throws up her hand and then looks back at her plate.  It might seem mean and rude, but, I have taken it as a challenge to break through her barrier and get a smile out of her.  Every time she leaves I make sure I give her an extra long hug!   Those are the ones that usually need it the most.  And it must not be too traumatic because she’s been back twice since the first time I forced a hug on her!

Another time a man and his wife came in and I hugged them both when they  came in.  When they went to leave I hugged the wife and before I could hug the husband he threw up his hand and said, “No, thanks, I’m good.”  I admit I was taken aback a little but I didn’t let it ruin my night just because one man refused my friendly gesture.  Of course my daughter took this as an opportunity to tell me I was being weird and I should stop “freaking people out”.   I told her that everyone needs a hug now and then and that obviously if someone felt weird about it, as this gentleman must have, they would let me know.

A few nights later he and his wife came in.  I let them go to their table unassaulted and waited for them to leave.  When he came up to leave I walked around him and told him I remembered that he didn’t like hugs but I was going to hug his wife.  He looked confused for a moment and then said “Oh, NO!  That was a total misunderstanding!  When we got out to the car my wife said ‘I can’t believe you turned down her hug’ and I was like ‘What are you talking about’ and when she explained what had happened I told her I thought you were offering me a to go tea.  I NEVER turn down free hugs!”  So, I gave him a big hug and we had a good laugh and turned a possible negative situation to a positive one. 

So, yes, I will keep giving my free hugs and I will continue to try to be positive and turn negativity into positivity because I HATE negativity.  What do YOU hate?  Take your thing you hate and put your spin on it and hook up with Gretchen and Second Blooming.

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
This entry was posted in Spin Cycle, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Hating to Hate

  1. bittercharm says:

    I think we all love to love and hate to hate… that’s what keep the story going… but i like the way you have captured it here…

  2. Ron says:

    I hate negativity too. I call people who are constantly in a state of negativity, “crepe hangers.” No matter who happens to them in their lives (good or bad) they’re always finding the ‘negative.’
    ” people who have come in who come in negative and just seem to thrive on trying to make everyone else around them absolutely miserable.”
    Exactly! In fact, I work with a guy like that – he loves to put on a ‘sad face’ so that people ask him what’s wrong. He does it for attention. I refer to him as, “Eeyore” from Winnie the Pooh because he always has the attitude, “Woe is me.”
    I think it’s only natural to feel negative at times, but when it becomes a constant, it’s a problem.

    “yes, I will keep giving my free hugs and I will continue to try to be positive and turn negativity into positivity because I HATE negativity”
    Good for you, Peg!!!!!

    Have a great day, dear friend. And keep on HUGGIN’!

    X

  3. Alaina says:

    Good for you for not letting negativity get you down! I kind of soak it in like a sponge, which is such a bad thing. Not sure if I’d like the hugs, though…I’m not one for physical contact either, but I would at least be polite about it!

    • pegbur7 says:

      If someone gives off the vibes that they really feel uncomfortable with me hugging them then I back off but if they are just negative? They are ripe for the picking!

  4. spriteskeeper says:

    I would have to say, no wonder Negative Nell has been back twice, she needed the hugs almost as much as the specials! When I finally get to meet you, I want a HUG!

    • pegbur7 says:

      Don’t worry… you will get more than your share! When we had our ribbon cutting with the Chamber, I told them all… “If you come here to eat EXPECT TO GET HUGGED!”

  5. eof737 says:

    It’s great that you offer that gesture of welcome to people who enter your restaurant and respect the choice of those who wish to be left alone. Hugging is wonderful but it is not for everyone. (Meaning: some people don’t like to be hugged by strangers or by anyone for that matter, and it is their rightful choice to feel that way). People with pain conditions (back, shoulders, neck) wouldn’t want a hug and might not exhibit any physical signs of injury. Honestly, I would encourage you to ask first; even a playful “How about a hug?” would suffice.
    As for the negativity, let it be… Happiness is a choice and when people are feeling down, they need space to reflect on what bothers them. Offer them your great service and a smile, and let them warm up in their own time. 🙂
    Congratulations on your restaurant and here’s to your continued success!

  6. terrepruitt says:

    Hugs are awesome, but at the same time I respect when people don’t want them, just like you did. Sometimes they might have a cold or maybe didn’t shower or just don’t feel like being touched at the moment. I have no idea of their reason unless they tell me. And I LOVE it when they won’t let me hug them because they are sick, I don’t need to get sick.

    It is really heartwarming that you hug your patrons! I bet they go for the food AND the hugs!!!

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