FaceBook Stalking

Sorry this one is going to be kind of short today.  I am exhausted. We have had a very jam-packed week with getting things ready for the restaurant and add in our car problems and trying to post every day and an Algebra class that’s kicking my butt and it seems like I have NO time for down time.  And all work and no play makes Peggy a very cranky girl.  I adore Shameless and it’s Saturday morning and I still haven’t seen last Sunday’s episode yet!  I have it recorded but haven’t had time to watch it.

I may get in trouble for broaching this with you guys but I kind of need some feedback.  There is this young girl (probably around 20) who went to the same high school as my youngest daughter.  She requested my friendship on FaceBook and since she went to the same school as my daughter at the same time I assumed she was a friend of my daughter and accepted the friend request.  Turns out I really do NOT know her. Therein lies the problem.

What I also was unaware of when I accepted the friend request is that she is obviously a little challenged so I have rally tried to be understanding and not step on any toes.  I at first tried to respond to her messages but I am not on Facebook all day long (contrary to popular belief) and I don’t have time (especially not now) to sit around and chit chat on Facebook even with friends, much less people I don’t even know!

I normally keep my status set to offline so that I can get on, do what I need to do and sneak back off without anyone usually being aware I’m even on Facebook unless they happen to see a post pop up!  This poor young girl has turned into somewhat of a stalker. I don’t think she has found my blog yet so that’s a good thing but she messages me sometimes 6 to 10 times a day!  And she tends to go through a kind of cycle.  She will start out with words of praise and how much she loves me and thinks I’m pretty (I admit that’s nice… when’s it not nice for people to say you’re pretty?) and when I don’t answer her it progresses to why do I think she hates me (I’ve never thought that) to why am I mad at her to she’s so angry with me to I’m being mean to why am I ignoring her?

Seriously??? I usually get ALL of these messages at one time. As bad as it sounds I have taken to ignoring her.  I mean I am not on FB that much but when I AM, I don’t usually answer her until she gets kind of insulting or a couple of times she’s sent me a message that a relative has died and I say I’m sorry and will pray for her and then it starts again.  I don’t want to be mean, especially is she is “challenged” but I seriously don’t have time for this and she’s found our “business” page and I don’t want her to start leaving nasty messages on our business page.

As it is, she leaves messages on my page, on my pictures and sends me numerous private messages a day.  My sister said I should just defriend her and block her but I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to piss her off to the point that she comes looking for me because the business address is on our page and she already asked me where I work because she’s looking for a new job.

So, I’m asking for suggestions on how to handle this delicately.  I already sent her a private message after she told me her boyfriend told her I was being mean to her and told her I wasn’t, that I was just extremely busy and didn’t get on FB that often.  Any other suggestions?  I’m getting tired of opening FB to see I have half a dozen or more messages waiting.  Thanks guys…. I know I can count on you!

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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14 Responses to FaceBook Stalking

  1. terrepruitt says:

    Social Media is a tricky thing. Especially when you have your own business.

    I don’t know what you should do. The first thing I thought of was what you said you already did (PM her). Did she respond to that?

    Even if you “hide” her stuff that is just you not seeing her she will still see you.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers on this one because Social Media is tricky (as I said) and her being “challenged” makes it even more tricky and challenging!

    • pegbur7 says:

      It’s just sort of creeping me out. She messages me like 6 – 10 times a day and starts out all sweet and then kind of turns mean and then back sweet again. Seems a little unstable. 😦

  2. eof737 says:

    Peg,
    I don’t want to scare you but there have been some awful incidents that started this way on Facebook. My advice is to nip it in the bud asap. Calmly and simply un-friend her. Then use the FB option that allows you to hide your page from someone and hide yourself from her. If you wish, you might want to advice her that since you don’t spend time on FB, it would be best if she seek others who do… But honestly, it would give her more to winge about… Nip it now before it escalates… Best wishes!

    • pegbur7 says:

      I’ve go to figure out if I can block her from the restaurant’s page. All I need is for someone unstable to start posting bad stuff before we even open up!

  3. eof737 says:

    By the way, you can block her on all your pages… Please do so asap and end this…

  4. jen says:

    Block her on you personal FB, block her on you business FB, un-friend her on both as well and do it now! Do not worry about whether you’re being nice.

    I agree totally with eof737 end it asap. It’s sad but maybe she’ll get some help or move on to someone else for attention.

    And Peg PLEASE if she turns up at the restaurant tell her to leave once that she isn’t welcome, the second time you can make a police report.

    • pegbur7 says:

      I know you guys are right. I’ve tried doing it nicely and she just gets more insistent. Any kind of reciprocation just starts her on another tangent. I just feel badly because I don’t know if she realizes how she comes across!

  5. Ron says:

    Oy, this is one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of FB and am seriously considering deleting my account. I never use it anyway. There is something about FB I just don’t trust. I once had someone get into my FB page (even without me friending them), who found my blog and kept leaving very personal comments. They also found my email address and contacted me that way. Thank god I moderate my blog comments because I was able to delete them before they ever got published for EVERYONE to read. Eventually, they stopped contacting me because I just kept ignoring them. I still don’t know HOW they found my blog because it’s not listed on my profile, only on my inside page.

    Yes, this is definitely a touchy situation with her being challenged, but I have to chime in eof737 and suggest un-friending her. I honestly don’t think there is anyway to handle this delicately other than just ignoring her.

    ((((( Peg )))))

    X ya, dear friend!

  6. I agree with the others here. Drop her and block her, and be sure to save all her messages. If things regress to the bunny boiling stage, you’ll want something to give to law enforcement. Mentally challenged or not, she needs to get the message that her stalking is not welcome and further efforts may result in serious consequences much to her detriment. I wonder if there is perhaps a parent or someone with a cooler head that can explain the facts of life to her, or get her some help? We have a mildly mentally challenged adult daughter of our own, yet we aren’t afraid to tell her like it is if she steps out of line.

    This is why I’m very persnickety about who I allow as friends on my FB account. I have to really know them in person, or have a well established blogging relationship with them. Everyone else just needs to grow up and get over it.

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Dave. Great advicce. I had taken the time last night to save all the messages…just in case. I’m just unsure whether I should tell her why I’m unfriending her or just do it. I don’t want to be mean to her but I do want her to understand what she is doing is rather inappropriate. It’s just starting to creep me out.

  7. Carol says:

    It’s all been said in these comments, and I think it’s the only way to go, Peg. It’s incidents like this that make me very very cautious about who I friend or accept as a friend. You need to unfriend and block now – right now – and hope she finds someone else to latch onto. Or gets help.

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