Last week hubby and I watched a special on television called “You Don’t Know Dixie”. It was about being from and living in the South. It had a lot of famous Southerners talking about what it is like to be raised in the South, how we do things differently, how we eat differently and how we talk differently. One of them even said that when you are from the South and around people who aren’t from the South that as soon as you speak “they” (the Non-Southerners) seem to think you automatically lose about 100 IQ points as soon as that Southern drawl comes out.
It talked about how we have different expressions that we use, the most notable one being “Y’all” and probably the second one being “Bless your heart”. What many people who are not from the South don’t realize is that “Bless your heart” has more than one meaning. There’s the occasion when someone is sick or ill or had something bad happen to them and you say “Bless your heart!” which means “You poor thing!”. Then there’s the occasion where someone has done something really nice or wonderful for you like bringing you an unexpected gift or doing a chore for you and then “Bless your heart!” means “Why thank you! That was SO sweet of you!” And THEN there is the occasion where someone does something really dumb or stupid like having a flat tire and keeping driving until you wear the rubber off the rim and then “Bless your heart!” means “Man, you’re as dumb as a box of rocks!” You know like the famous last words “Hey y’all….watch this!” means I’m fixing to do something really stupid that’s gonna either get me hurt real bad or killed so you better watch! Yeah, that’s a “Bless your heart” moment too.
Last week we catered a wedding for one of my best friend’s daughters and we were running a lot of last minute errands picking up stuff for the wedding. Hubby was having a “Bless your heart” day. We had left the house really early to meet some vendors to pick up product for the wedding. I didn’t even take time to make myself any coffee before we left because we were running late but ended up getting to our meeting spot before the people we were meeting so hubby was being nice and decided we’d stop at Dunkin’ Donuts to pick me up a cup of coffee. Now mind you this Dunkin’ Donuts is literally like 2 doors down from hubby’s restaurant and he passes this store every single day that he works.
We start to pull into the parking lot and hubby says “I don’t have any cash on me so if you give me a couple of dollars I’ll run in and get your coffee for you”. Really sweet offer but I said “Ummmm…. Honey…. Why don’t you just go through the drive through?” And he looks at me, totally serious and says “They have a drive through?” Bless his heart! And I mean that in the THIRD way! I looked at him and pointed to the HUGE sign above the building that says “Dunkin’ Donuts – Drive Through”….. Yeah, baby… they have a drive through….and HOW many times have you been to this restaurant in the SIX years you’ve been at this location? Yeah…. Bless his heart!
I got a good laugh at that one for a long time because we had been having a discussion for days about his vacation time. He had called me about a month ago and said “I’m getting ready to put in for my vacation for the quilt show in VA so when is it again?” I had told him February 23 – 26. I told him again what day it was and he said “Ok, I’ll put in for that right now”. Then last week he informed me that he asked off for February 16 – 21 so we could go to the quilt show. Bless his heart! Even me telling him on the phone while he was putting the information into the computer he STILL managed to ask off the wrong days! Bless his heart!
Later as we were driving down the highway I noticed that the car wasn’t acting quite right. I asked hubby what was wrong with the car and he said “Nothing. It always drives like this.” And I informed him that it didn’t drive like that when I was driving so I was confused as to why it was performing so poorly. He told me that it had been acting like that since our friend “fixed” it. I told him that IF that was fixing it then I thought he had broken it instead because it was really sounding weird. Several times I asked him if he was sure the car was okay because especially after leaving a light it didn’t seem to change gears right and the engine seemed to be revving really hard. Finally I looked over and saw that instead of having the car in “D” (drive) he had it in 3rd…. Bless his heart!!!
I asked him why he had it in 3rd and he said “Oh, I didn’t notice it. I always just pull down the gear shift until it stops. I don’t pay attention. It always drives like this.” SO…. for God knows how long, hubby has been driving around most of the time with his car in 3rd gear…. And I wonder why HIS car always seems to need repairing? Bless his heart!
I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you probably remember the painting incident…. Or the time he drove almost a mile with the back sliding door of our van open…IN THE RAIN…. Before he noticed it? Or the time….. oh well, BLESS HIS HEART!