Please Help!

I’m going on another rant. I apologize in advance.  I may lose some readers due to my stand on this but I have to say something.

This morning I stumbled on a blog titled Our Simple Lives through another new blogger friend, Jen at We’re Living a Full Life.  Jen had written a letter to Homeland Security on behalf of the couple and I plan to do the same thing and I hope you all will too.

The situation kind of reminds me of several years ago, a friend of ours, who is in a heterosexual marriage and had been married to the same man for about 20 years (at the time) and her 4 children with him, was in a quandary because her husband just happened to be of Iranian descent.  It was shortly after Desert Storm (the first war over there) started and even though he had lived and worked here for over 2 dozen years paying taxes and being an upstanding citizen (though not legally), he was almost deported because he was of Iranian descent.  Of course they didn’t say that was the reason, they simply chose NOT to renew his green card.

Here we go again, almost 20 years later but basically the same situation.  Mark Hames and Fred Deloizy of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania have been together for 22 years.  They have adopted 4 children together.  4 years ago they got married.  Fred’s visa recently expired and he is now facing deportation because DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) does not recognize their marriage as legal.  If they were a straight married couple, Mark could sponsor Fred to renew his visa but since they are a gay married couple and DOMA does not recognize their union, he cannot sponsor his spouse and the father of their children.

Fred, Mark and their children Jonathan, Claire, Jacob and Joshua

Looking at how many broken single family homes there are in America and how many children are being raised by one parent, I’d think that the U.S. and DOMA would be happy to allow a happily married loving couple the privilege of staying together happily to raise their children in a loving two parent home.  I’m not going to pretend to understand all of the nuances of the whole situation.  I only know that I find it unconscionable that we would deport a hard working production member of society and rip him away from his children because we are too bigoted and simple minded to open our hearts and minds and see the bigger picture.

I am going to provide you with links to both Jen’s (We’re Living A Full Life) blog post concerning this so that you can read her beautifully eloquent letter to Homeland Security and Mark’s post about their being interviewed by CNN regarding the whole situation.  And I implore you, if you have a heart PLEASE send a letter to Homeland Security or Senator Casey.  The addresses are:

Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr.

393 Russell Senate Office Building

Washington, DC 20510

Phone: 202-224-6324

Toll Free:  866-802-2833

Fax:  202-228-0604


Secretary Janet Napolitano

Department of Homeland Security

U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Washington, D.C. 20528


Just because you may not agree with their lifestyle, it shouldn’t stop you from trying to keep this fine upstanding man from being ripped from his family’s life.  Please take a moment to write a letter on their behalf. If you click the link below it should take you to the CNN report on this.

Gay Spouse faces deportation under DOMA


About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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14 Responses to Please Help!

  1. Ron says:

    Peg, I can’t thank you enough for sharing this post.


    In fact, I went over to Marks’s blog and watched the CNN video, which was so informative. While on his blog, I couldn’t help but notice the photos of Mark, his partner and their children, and could SEE of how well-taking care of those children are, and I also got a sense of how strong and LOVING their family unit is.

    You hit the nail on the head in saying….

    “Looking at how many broken single family homes there are in America and how many children are being raised by one parent, I’d think that the U.S. and DOMA would be happy to allow a happily married loving couple the privilege of staying together happily to raise their children in a loving two parent home.”


    Again, I can’t thank you enough for sharing this post today, dear friend. And I will definitely support them in sending a letter.

    ((((( Peg ))))))

    X ya!

  2. Katie says:

    Thanks for reposting this, and putting the addresses together. I will be writing today.

  3. Jen says:

    Great post Peg. Passionate and spot on!
    This family deserves to be together and their
    best chance of staying together is with the
    kind and loving support of people who care.

  4. Mark says:

    You’re such a doll!
    Thank you so much for this.
    As stated in my CNN piece, I don’t think that the backers of DOMA realize that that they are hurting children. And they are always saying “We are trying to protect the children”. Well then, please protect mine! This is way beyond “Gay Marriage”. In fact, it is all about trying to keep my Children from losing their father. I don’t think they understand that DOMA is destroying Families.
    The Gov’t approved the adoption of our four children. And now, they want to break us up.
    Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you would do this. You are a perfect stranger and you showed guts standing up for us. You’re a modern day Freedom-Rider. And I am forever grateful.
    Your New Friend, m.

    • pegbur7 says:

      You are so welcome Mark. I am very appreciative of Jen from We’re Living a Full Life for bringing your cause to our attention. It just really galls me that the government would try to break up such a wonderful loving family. And why NOW? I mean Fred has been here for YEARS….I just don’t understand it! I so hope something positive comes from all this. You will stay in my heart and on my mind.

  5. I have to admit I still have mixed feelings on this subject, but breaking up this family and depriving these kids of a parental figure that they’ve loved and trusted for so many years due to bureaucratic “rules” is nothing but heartless and cruel. I do hope things turn out well for them and that future exceptions to the law will be considered in immigration cases so as to prevent any more sundering of loving families, whether hetero or same-sex.

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks for weighing in Dave. I mean, the government approved of them as a couple when they adopted the children so it makes no sense that they would let them adopt the children and then yank one of them out of their lives…

  6. HermanTurnip says:

    Peg: Just stopping by for the first time to give you an “internet high-five” for the gift you sent Ron’s way. Glad to see that I’m not the only freak to mail gifts to blogging friends!

    Will be stopping by your blog again! 🙂

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Herman! yes, just ask my kids.. I am quite the freak! LOL I just love that something so simple could bring such joy to another person and I’m all about bringing a smile to someone’s face!

      Thanks SO much for stopping by!

  7. eof737 says:

    What a terrible thing… I will look into it more.

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