Have You Seen Her?

School Dance

Mama Kat’s time again.  This week I chose prompt #4) Slow dancing with boys…talk about one of your first school dance experiences.

I know that I’ve reiterated in the past (as has my sister) that we grew up in a very chaotic household.  As much of a juxtaposition as it sounds, it was also very strict.  We weren’t allowed to date until we were 16 and then had to double date first (I was told for a year but I don’t think I actually had to wait that long) and we weren’t allowed to wear makeup.  We weren’t allowed to go to boy/girl parties.  While all my friends were going to school dances and football games etc., I sat home on Friday nights locked in my room listening to Gilbert O’Sullivan and The Partridge Family.

Once when I was in the 8th grade (I’m pretty sure it was 8th, I know it was middle school) my mom after much begging and pleading allowed that I could go to a school dance.  I didn’t dare tell her I had a boyfriend (she would have killed me or at least refused to drop me off).  I dressed in my nicest dress which was a hand me down from my older married sister and my mom dropped me and my best friend off.  Her mom was to pick us up later. I think that was the only reason she let me go because someone else was picking us up. In my mom’s defense we lived about 25 miles from the school and it was mostly back roads to get there and I’m sure she didn’t want to be driving late (okay 9:30 was late back then) to come pick me up when she had been up since 5:00 a.m.

I had already told my boyfriend that I wasn’t coming to the dance because I hadn’t convinced my mom until after she got home from work to let me go and since we didn’t have a telephone I had no way of letting him know that I was indeed coming to the dance.  I thought it would be a wonderfully nice surprise. 

I wasn’t well versed in these sorts of things since I never got to go to any of them but I was totally excited to be “free” for a night and to be able to see my boyfriend in a setting outside normal school hours.  He was very popular, a jock, and all the girls flirted like crazy with him so it made me feel even more special that he had picked me… a poor country girl to be his girlfriend.  I wasn’t what you’d consider a prize catch.

My mom dropped us off at the front of the school and Sam and I made our way around to the gym after hurriedly running to the bathroom to haphazardly apply a little forbidden (and probably stolen from my older sister) sparkly blue (as was all the rage) eye shadow and mascara.  After getting to the very dimly lit gym, Sam ran off to find who she could flirt with while I scanned the guys standing around the gym walls and bleachers for my prince charming.  I remember very distinctly that “Have You Seen Her” by the Chi Lites was playing.  I walked around the bleachers and the outside of the dance floor looking for him and couldn’t find him anywhere.  Just as the song was ending I spied him across the dance floor… dancing with another girl!  And if you remember it was a VERY slow song and they looked very cozy.  And as the song ended he leaned down and he KISSED her! I was crushed!!! 

He looked up and saw me see him and realized he had gotten caught.  He came running across the gym floor and I went running out to the bathroom bawling my eyes out.  I spent the rest of the night crying in the bathroom, the first of my many broken hearts.  Of course I never told my mother about my horrible experience of my first school dance because she would have just told me that would teach me to want to go to any of them in the first place. She would not have understood and it would only have reinforced her belief that I never needed to go to any extracurricular activities and it did cure me for a while. 

Of course the next week at school I forgave my boyfriend after some lame excuse as to why he was slow dancing with another girl to begin with, much less kissing her, only to have him “cheat” on me again a few weeks later to which I broke up with him again, only to date him every year for a week or so until he’d cheat again.  He and I were much better friends than boyfriend and girlfriend and to this day we remain good friends. I stayed mad at the girl for much longer.  She had been my friend and she should have known better.

Now… for your viewing enjoyment, I give you….the Chi Lites:


About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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20 Responses to Have You Seen Her?

  1. The first time I ever saw “Chi-Lites” I thought it was like the greek letter Chi and said it wrong. 😛

  2. suzicate says:

    You poor baby! The first heartbreak is the hardest. I know the guy you are talking about but don’t know who the girl is.

  3. Ron says:

    First, I LOVED the video clip, Peg!

    OMG…hearing that song again brought back a flood of memories for me. What a GREAT song!

    And I’m so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. Like SuziCate shared, that first one is the hardest isn’t it? I know how you feel because the same thing happened to me with my first “love interest.” But, it’s so nice to know that you and he still remained friends, even to this day.

    Have a great Thursday, dear friend….X

  4. No! Sounds like my first serious boyfriend too. We’re still friends and we’re in our 40’s now.

  5. Stoopmama says:

    OH NO!!!! Heartbreaking. It’s like a scene from a John Hughes movie!! Adolescent heartbreak and angst is the worst.

  6. Dumb Mom says:

    I had a recurring boyfriend like that! He would break up with me every time he got interested in another girl. Before he cheated on me. I hated it back then, but looking back it was sort of a nice thing to do!

  7. Katie says:

    What a great slow dance song. I went to my first dance in 8th grade. What a traumatic time 8th grade is.

  8. Teenage heartbreak….the most potent kind! Stopped by from Mama Kat’s 🙂

  9. Those early heartbreaks are terrible, and I can’t think of anyone I talk to now that talks about having a good first time at a middle school dance.

    Your post was well written and had me going right back to my middle school dances and heartbreaks.

    hi from mks

  10. Jenners says:

    Oh … this is kind of sad!! I was hoping for a romantic first dance and here you get your heart broken. It is hard at that age to realize that being friends can be better than being boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ll always think of your story when I hear this song now.

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