It’s Thursday and once more time for Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop. Since I will be flying to Orlando next week I decided to choose prompt #5.) The 10 Dos and Don’ts of Airplane Etiquette.
- Please keep your hands and feet inside the moving vehicle at all times. We don’t want anyone dragging body parts outside the plane as it could result in worse mileage if they have to drag you along. Plus the noise would make for an unpleasant ride for everyone else.
- Please don’t take up the whole overhead bin by yourself. Two personal carry-on items does not include full size luggage or purses the size of a suit bag.
- Please occupy only YOUR seat. No leaning over in your neighbor’s seat or into the aisle. If you lean on me then it’s only fair that I get to prop my feet in your lap.
- If you have a window seat, please use the bathroom BEFORE you take your seat so that you don’t have to climb over your neighbors during the flight. If you have to climb over me don’t complain if you get goosed.
- If you are traveling with a small child please do your best to keep the noise level to a minimum and bring something to occupy them. If you have a “lap companion” please make sure they stay in YOUR lap, not everyone else’s. If a small child crawls in my lap during a flight then I get to choose whether or not to keep them.
- The flight attendant is not your maid or slave. Please treat them with respect. They are just doing their job. Unless they are just bitchy then it would be okay to open a can of Whoop Ass on them.
- Please do not position your fan to high and then aim it at someone other than yourself. Each passenger has their own. Don’t steal their peanuts or pretzels either unless they are your travelling companion and then you can act accordingly. You take-a my pretzels and I break-a your face.
- When the attendant asks you to turn off your electronic devices please finish your phone conversation ASAP and turn your phone off or to airplane mode. Don’t pretend not to be talking when the attendant walks by and then continue your conversation. You are NOT any more important than the other 100 or 200 passengers on the plane. Get over yourself. If you MUST continue to talk on the phone please go out on the wing so the rest of us can’t hear you.
- When the attendant asks you to turn off your electronic devices it does not mean that since you aren’t TALKING on your cell phone that you can continue to text. Off means OFF. If I’m sitting next to you don’t be surprised if I turn it off FOR you…or set it on the wing for you to retrieve.
- If your seat mate acts like they are asleep it probably means they do NOT want to talk. Take the hint and silence yourself as well as your phone. Otherwise you are just annoying.
Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful flight. Remember to return your seats to their upright position and securely lock your tray table in place.