Ride the Train

The last few days my friend and I have been having phone conversations about things that really bother us.  One of those things in particular is pity parties.  Especially unwarranted pity parties.  Or pity parties brought on by something that the person “throwing the party” has done themselves.

Another thing that has a tendency to get on my nerves (although I’m sure we are all guilty of doing it from time to time, myself included) is Vaguebooking.  Do you know what that is?  That is posting a status on FaceBook that is intentionally vague with the express intent of eliciting a response (in this case, one of pity) from your “friends”.   I’m sure we all post vague or cryptic statuses from time to time.  And for some reason when it’s for the purpose of being “cutesie” it’s okay.  It’s when people purposely post something vague or cryptic for the sole purpose of having all their friends jump on their pity wagon that it drives me batsh*t crazy.  And it seems some people are so good at it that they do it over and over and over, day after day after day.  I guess that makes them expert pity partiers.

I know all of us get down in the dumps sometimes.  I’ve felt like throwing myself a pity party lots of times lately!  But I have thus far resisted the urge. It’s hard when you are down in the dumps or a little depressed to not pull other people into it with you.  I have no problem with that as we all need reassurance that we are loved and cared about by our friends.  It’s when there is a constant deluge of poor poor pitiful me status updates day after day after day and sometimes several times in the same day that it drives me insane.  It almost makes me want to “de-friend” them but I wouldn’t do that because I know how it feels to be de-friended.  And even when it’s not your fault, it doesn’t feel good and I don’t want to be the cause of making someone else sad.

And sometimes these same people bring it on themselves.  Sometimes I wonder if they are truly suffering from some form of mental illness?  If that’s the case then I guess I shouldn’t be angry about it and I should show a little more compassion because they probably can’t help it.  But it still drives me crazy.

I know some people that suffer bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder can’t really help being the way they are.  Or can they?  It makes me wonder if some of those people really can’t see themselves in a true light. Can they not really tell how hard it is to be around them?  Do they not realize that everyone around them feels like they are walking on eggshells?  Or balancing on a tightrope and the least little disturbance is going to knock you off the wire or crush your eggs.

I’ve dealt with a lot of people with mental illnesses in my lifetime and I know it’s not easy for the person with the disorder OR their friends and family.  Sometimes in the form of their extreme mood swings or sometimes even panic attacks.  And it’s hard even after you figure out what the problem is to still be truly compassionate because it’s just as hard on you as it is on them.  But please, no more pity parties or VagueBooking for that express “pity party” intent.  I’m beginning to feel like I’m gonna be the one who needs mental help if it doesn’t stop!

Okay…. Anybody wanna jump on my pity train because I just realized how badly it sounds but I’m still pulling out of the station.  I’m still posting it just in case those who are responsible may read it and BE responsible and STOP THE INSANITY!  I don’t wanna be a guest at your pity party any longer.  Stop the train… I want OFF!


About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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12 Responses to Ride the Train

  1. What with the vaguebooking and then none vague details of crazy Saturday night drinking exploits I too am ready to reach for the emergency Facebook defriending lever. And you do seem a little ‘angst’ but I do appreciate a good ranting post this early in a morning. (7am for me). 🙂 xx

  2. Ron says:

    “I have no problem with that as we all need reassurance that we are loved and cared about by our friends. It’s when there is a constant deluge of poor poor pitiful me status updates day after day after day and sometimes several times in the same day that it drives me insane.”

    I soooooooooooooooooooo agree with you, Peg!!!!

    I think it’s healthy to vent and clear the air; expressing how you feel. However, there is a fine line between venting and clearing the air, and then doing it to manipulate and creat DRAMA.

    Interesting to read about ‘Vaguebooking’ on FB – I’ve never heard that term before.

    Great vent, dear friend! Happy Sunday!


    • pegbur7 says:

      I’m not sure of the correct term but that’s what I call it! They are being vague on FaceBook so they are VagueBooking! LOL Kinda has a ring doesn’t it?

  3. Katie says:

    I am new on facebook so I have not noticed this so much, but pity me….I would vent too.

  4. terrepruitt says:

    You know you can hide people’s post, you just were asking people to do that with your Mafia Wars post. So you don’t have to unfriend the people that annoy you with their pity parties all the time. You can just hide them and check in on them every once in a while.

    Since I joined FB primarily for business I have a lot of friends that are strictly just businesses or business friends. I hide their post and just check in once a week or so. I still want to see what is up with them and/or their business, but I don’t need to see it in my feed. Especially when they post the same thing on their personal account as their business account. One post right after the other I don’t need to see.

    And maybe I misunderstood you, but I think you are ok when people “vent” (as Katie above mentions) and even share sad/bad stuff . . . . it is the vague posts just posted to get pity that annoy you, right?

    For me, I don’t care what people post. Everyone uses FB, Twitter, Google+, or whatever as they want. That is what is so cool about it. We can all use it in whatever way we — as individuals want — so I don’t care what people do because I am in control of what I see and what I read. I am the one that gets to decide what I participate in so let them do what they want. I am really good at “skimming”. I have a lot of friends that “check in” places and I don’t want to hide them or that feature necessarily so I’ve learned to skim my feed really fast! 🙂

  5. Angelia Sims says:

    This post just makes me……..


  6. NikNik says:

    I have no problem defriending people if they get on my nerves! or if they have bad grammar 😉

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