Nacho Time

Mama Kat’s is up again and this time I chose prompt #5.) Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.  I have to admit it was hard thinking of just ONE moment when I got upset when I was pregnant. That always seemed to be 9 months straight of hormonal incidents from hell.

I first started to write about the time when I was pregnant with my third child and craving a YooHoo like there was no  tomorrow and came home from work to find that my cousin who was living with us had drank the last one. Let’s just suffice it to say that he never touched my YooHoo’s again.

Then I remembered an incident when I was pregnant with my first child.  Newly pregnant for the first time and really not quite ready for those
hormone surges.  I don’t know who had it  worse.  Hubby or me.  I didn’t even know how to handle myself, much less expect someone else to be able to?  I think hubby just pretty much tried to stay out of my way (now that I think of it… he DID work an awful lot back then!).

I had a weird combination of morning sickness all day long and strange food cravings.  I for some reason always (with all three children) craved salads, nachos, and ice cream.  It could be pretty much settle for any salads but the ice cream HAD to be chocolate Haagan Daaz.  It could not
be any other brand or any other flavor and hubby found that one out the hard way too.  He would bring home the store brand of chocolate and I’d send him right back to the store or pout until I got the right one.  Or he’d bring Haagan Daaz chocolate chocolate chip and I’d pretty much throw it back at him. He was seriously confused thinking if chocolate was good then surely MORE chocolate would be better.

He truly didn’t understand that it had to be that specific thing.  Until he started getting cravings too.  One day he came home and told me he had gotten sick at work and when I asked why he said he didn’t know, he’d just had a craving and had eaten oatmeal and green jello.  Together?  YUP!
NO WONDER.  I think I would have thrown up too!

The worst part was the nachos.  I always wanted nachos from Orange Julius.  We lived in New Orleans East and at the time the only Orange Julius was at the Lake Forest Mall Food Court.  This meant if my craving was after 9 p.m. I was SOL.  Guess you could say it was “nacho” time to have a craving after 9 p.m. (OK … that was a lame pun… sorry couldn’t help myself).

One night, I think it was a Wednesday or Thursday (I am assuming, it was midweek and kinda slow at the mall) around 8:30 I got a craving for nachos but knew by the time hubby got home it would be too late so I jumped in the car and drove like mad to the mall which was only a couple of miles from where we lived.  I got there at like 20 minutes to 9 and waited for them to finish waiting on the person in front of me just about
salivating thinking of those yummy nachos! When I got to the front of the line it was 8:45 at the latest.  I ordered my nachos and coke and the young snot nosed kid behind the counter says “We ain’t got no nachos.” WTH???? I asked him why and he said that they had already “broken the machine down” for the night.  SO???? I told him I was so very sorry but I’d REALLY like some nachos (as I pointed to my just beginning to bulge belly).  He just shook his head and said “Sorry!”

I asked him what time they closed and he said 9.  I asked if he had the “ingredients” to make the nachos and he said yes.  I told him since it was only quarter til 9 and they didn’t close for 15 minutes  and they had ALL the ingredients necessary then I thought they should hop right to it and MAKE ME SOME DAMN NACHOS!  He just maybe not so politely shook his head no and said “Next!”  I explained to him ever so kindly (or as
kindly as a hormonal nacho craving maniacal pregnant woman can be) that I would REALLY like some nachos NOW!!!  He said “No can do.” And turned to walk away!!!  WTH???

At this point my hormonal rage is through the roof and I am in desperate need of my nacho fix and the clock is ticking ever closer to 9 o’clock. When he turns to walk away I ask (maybe kinda LOUDLY) to  speak with the manager.  He smirks at me “I AM the manager.”  I think I may have told him he didn’t look old enough to be out of diapers much less be a manager and if my opinion counted he surely wasn’t doing a very good job of managing.  He just laughed at me and walked to the back and started cleaning up!  I am FUMING!  I stopped a security guard and tried to MAKE him come over and make him make me nachos and after the guy looked at me like I had lost my very last marble he just said something to the effect that it wasn’t in his job description and they had no “jurisdiction” to MAKE him make me nachos.  Then I might have insulted his intelligence and his ability to perform his job.  Then out of desperation I asked the guy behind the counter couldn’t he please
have pity on a poor craving pregnant woman in desperate need of nachos and he looked at me, smiled, looked at the clock behind him and said “Sorry, we are closed…. It’s 9 o’clock!” I told him the clock didn’t say nine yet and he said “Well, that clock is slow… it’s actually AFTER nine’.   I think all sorts of other titles started flowing through my head for him and NONE of them was manager.

I think if I had not been pregnant and afraid of being arrested I might have actually crawled across the counter and swept the floor with the guy!
Needless to say, I did NOT get my nachos and I’m pretty sure when hubby came home that night I was most likely a sniveling mess and pissed off at him because I was pretty sure if HE had been with me instead of at work… the guy would have given me my nachos so somehow it had to be his fault.

So, yes, looking back on the situation now, it was utterly ridiculous.  Both that he wouldn’t make me my nachos and that I acted worse than a
fool because he wouldn’t.  But comeon!  WHO does that to a pregnant woman?  I know I couldn’t control my emotions to save my life!  I can only hope that eventually he got married and had a wife who got pregnant and was craving something and HE couldn’t find it.  Vengeance is mine sayeth the half crazed hormonal loon!

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
This entry was posted in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Nacho Time

  1. SuziCate says:

    Laughing my butt off! I can so see this happening! Those pregnancy hormones did a number on me a time or tow, but not over cravings!

  2. Anjie says:

    Oh my goodness! These are too funny! I wrote about a hormonal experience too.

    My ‘weirdest’ craving was a taco shell dipped in chocolate. I didn’t eat it though, lol.

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s!

    • pegbur7 says:

      Taco dipped in chocolate? ok… I remember years ago Del Taco used to have these “tacos” that were ice cream sandwich things that were dipped in chocolate. Actually really good!

  3. I got divorced almost immediately following my second pregnancy. Hormonal enough for you? LOL!

  4. Gretchen says:

    HA! I hope you wrote a nasty letter to their corporate office and got that little jerk in trouble. At least you should have gotten a coupon for free nachos. Funny, I had the nacho craving when I was pregnant too! But I made them myself, these HUGE TRAYS of nachos with gigantic chunks of jalepenos on them. And I never go heartburn or anything. Crazy. I ate them for lunch every day for about two months. Come to think of it, that may have been why I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy!!

    • pegbur7 says:

      I actually only gained 40 which surprised me. Especially when I gained 9 in one month! No, I didn’t write a letter. Way back then I didn’t know you could even do such a thing! LOL I just wallowed in my hormonal misery!

  5. Must have been some damn good nachos…

    • pegbur7 says:

      Well, I THOUGHT they were but then I was VERY hormonal and pregnant so they could have tasted like cardboard and I probably still would have craved them. Funny thing is they opened an Orange Julius in our mall here last year and I was gonna go just to try their nachos to see how they really were but they don’t serve them any more! At least this one doesn’t!

  6. Angelia Sims says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is sooo funny! I can totally see you giving him the crazy-eye. Guess it was not your (nacho) night. 🙂 And I do hope he got paid back for that. LOL!

  7. Pingback: The 600! « Square Peg in a Round Hole

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