What was your big dream for yourself when you were 18 and had graduated from high school?
When I graduated from high school I had big dreams of either being a teacher or a nurse. I had actually applied to and gotten accepted into Meredith College in Raleigh, North Carolina but when it came down to it, there was no way my parents could afford to pay my tuition and I had no guidance as far as how to go about applying for scholarships or grants. I decided to put of my plan of going to college for a year so I could work and save money to go to school. Famous last words.
Considering that my first job paid barely minimum wage and I spent more than half (pretty much closer to ALL) of what I made just surviving let’s just suffice it to say that at the end of that first year the net of my savings account was ZERO… In fact, I had NO savings and when my checking account wasn’t hovering in the negative it was hardly above it. I again put my dreams of teaching or nursing on hold so that I could save for school.
Then before the next year was up I found myself living by myself and footing ALL the bills and all hopes of ever saving money to go to school went out the window. The next thing I knew (or at least it seemed that way) I was married and having kids and those dreams just never materialized. Then we couldn’t afford it because we could barely keep a roof over our heads and food on the table and now we finally have all the kids out of the house and my “dream” seems like it was just a pipe dream.
I do know that I really was never “cut out” to be a teacher. I did sign up to be a substitute when my kids were in elementary school. I even took the time to go to all the substitute “classes” they gave at the board of education and finally got on the sub list and finally one morning I actually got that early morning call to sub for a second grade class. Those monsters about killed me and I realized right then and there that it takes an awfully special person to be a teacher and I’m just not that special. If I was, I think after a week I’d be special in another way and I don’t mean a good one. I’d be on a psyche ward somewhere in a catatonic state. I have decided that teachers definitely don’t make enough money and they don’t get enough respect. It is definitely a hard job and one I no longer want.
As or going to school to be a nurse now, at this stage in my life? It kind of seems a moot point. The very thought of going back to school at my age scares the beejeebies out of me and I’m not sure I have the brain power to make it through anymore. So I will just be content that the dream I had never became a reality nor a nightmare and that I am who I am and that everything worked out just as it should have.