We All Bleed

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  What kind of person am I?  What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of person do I want to be remembered as?  Do I live my life in conjunction with how I want to be seen and remembered?  Am I willing to do what it takes to be that person?  I seem to constantly be questioning myself and correcting myself and trying to figure out who I am.

Like Tuesday before I left Fredericksburg I went by my brother’s house to tell him goodbye and that I’d be back on Saturday.  Then I went by the hospital before I left town to see his daughter who is back in this time with pneumonia.  I was upset since I’d just said goodbye to my brother and driving through the parking lot trying to find a parking spot when I spot one up ahead on my right.  I am almost to the spot when a young girl comes flying around the corner and literally pulls across the lot in front of me to pull into the spot causing me to have to hit the brakes so that I didn’t hit her.

My first reaction was to go all Kathy Bates ala Fried Green Tomatoes on her.  Ya know?  I AM older and I have BETTER insurance.  Then I had to check myself.  I pulled around to the next row and found a spot and sat there a minute and literally had to give myself a good talking to.  How do I know that even though she looked young, she might be in worse physical, mental or emotional shape than I am?  I had to remind myself that I was in a hospital parking lot and that maybe she was visiting a sick relative, perhaps her parent or spouse or heaven forbid, maybe her child was sick and in the hospital.  No matter the reason, the point is; what makes me think I deserve that parking spot any more than she did?  Just because I was there first?  Does that give me more claim on it?  Even if she was just being rude, does that give me a right to be rude back?  What would that accomplish?  It might have given me a few seconds of satisfaction but in the long run, giving in to that anger and frustration only feeds it and makes it worse.  I had to just let it go.

Several hours later, as I was driving through North Carolina and I was almost at the South Carolina state line and realized my gas light had just popped on.  I was in a hurry and trying to make it to South Carolina (where the gas is cheaper) before I had to fill up when it came on.  I was in the left lane getting ready to pass a tractor trailer when suddenly an SUV comes flying up on the right hand side and pulls in front of me and cuts me off, causing me for the second time that day to have to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting someone.  It really pissed me off and my first reaction was to give him a double fisted one fingered salute and yell at his rear end… or run smack into it!  Then he slowed down!  That infuriated me even more and I wanted to roll down my window and stick out my head AND my hand and give him several one fingered salutes.  I literally had to back off.  I could feel my anger welling up within me.  I knew I could go about another 30 miles or more with my gas light on and wanted to pull back over beside him and yell and scream and act a fool and pass him and slam on my brakes to let him see how he liked it. 

I took a deep breath and did the unthinkable….. I pulled into the right lane, slowed down my speed and my breathing and pulled off at the next exit.  I couldn’t allow myself to get sucked into the rage.  My emotions have been too close to the surface to allow them to boil over when I’ve still got about 4 hours left to drive before I reached the safety of my home.  I got my gas and used the restroom and got back in the car and back on the road.  I hadn’t driven too far when a song came on the radio that kind of put it all in perspective for me.  This was it:

In case you can’t get the video to play you can cut and paste this URL:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElCIGdLx4UM

It’s from Ronnie Dunn, formerly of Brooks and Dunn who is now going solo.  Here are the lyrics:

Let’s say we’re sorry before it’s too late
Give forgiveness a chance
Turn the anger into water
Let it slip through our hands

We all bleed red
We all taste rain
We all fall down lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears
We all bleed red

If we’re fighting we’re both losing
We’re just wasting our time
Because my scars they are your scars
And your world is mine
You and I

We all bleed red
We all taste rain
We all fall down lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears
We all bleed red
Sometimes we’re strong
Sometimes we’re weak
Sometimes we’re hurt and it cuts deep
We live this life breath to breath
We’re all the same
We all bleed red

Let’s say we’re sorry before it’s too late

We all bleed red
We all taste rain
We all fall down lose our way
We all say words we regret
We all cry tears
We all bleed red
Sometimes we’re strong
Sometimes we’re weak
Sometimes we’re hurt and it cuts deep
We live this life breath to breath
We’re all the same
We all bleed red

So, yeah, I had a few lessons in humility by way of the radio station I was listening to.  May we all remember that others are going through the same or worse that we are.  We need to be understanding and loving to others and take into consideration that we are all going through hard times and on the inside we are all the same.  Some handle things better than others.  It’s up to each of us individually to decide to step up and be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones because as the song says we all say things we regret.  Sometimes we’re hurt and it cuts deep.  But that doesn’t give us the right to turn around and cut someone else literally or with our words because we are hurting.  We live this life breath to breath… let us each make every breath count and be the best person we can with each breath that we take.

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
This entry was posted in Just Life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to We All Bleed

  1. SuziCate says:

    Excellent post! I agree with all. We do need to be kind even to jerk, maybe we can be contagious enough to pull them out of their rage. Thanks for the song. Funny how sometimes just what we need to hear pops on the radio, isn’t it? I love when that happens. I love you much.

  2. NikNik says:

    I wish I could back off of people like that when driving! My reaction is usually to ride their tail til they get the hint!

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