Hubby is always accusing me of telling on him but never telling anything embarrassing about myself. I beg to differ as you can see here or here. Yes, I DO tell on him a lot but only because he makes me laugh… a LOT. Anyway, I am going to confess TWO (or more) stupid things I did this week, on consecutive days no less!
An associate that I used to work with a couple of years ago called me about a week ago and asked if I’d come in and help her with some things she needed to get done. I agreed that I would go in on Monday and if she still needed me I’d come in Tuesday to help her out. Monday morning I agreed I’d be at her office (sort of in Midtown) around 10ish. I work up around 6 or 7 and checked my blog and emails and then started getting ready planning to leave myself over an hour to drive there even though it should only take about 30 minutes by that time of morning.
I take my shower and wash my hair and put on my make-up and clothes and was just going to pull my hair back in a ponytail, wet, since it was kind of misty weather and I figured drying it would pretty much be a waste of time and energy because my hair texture + moist damp weather = FRIZZY city. I figured straightening it would also be a waste of time and energy. Then I decided that I’d go ahead and dry it using my nifty fairly new (read barely used) round brush since if my hair was slightly wavy/curly ON PURPOSE to begin with that a little frizz would almost blend right in and look like I meant to do it that way. Right? Made perfect sense to me (in my own little mind).
First let me tell you…sometimes your friends are NOT what they appear to be. I thought friends were supposed to help and support you. Let me tell you…. I found out that this is NOT my friend:
I had just really started drying/curling my hair with the round brush and I guess since the last time I used my new friend (the round brush) my hair has grown somewhat (my hair grows really fast). I guess I wound the brush too close to my scalp or the hair was wrapped too many times or whatever but that danged brush tried to eat my head! I think it was trying to become a permanent accessory because the next thing I knew, I couldn’t move it! It was stuck but good. I started to panic a little bit.
Thank God that Hubby was in the living room engrossed in his new book and not in the bathroom. In all honesty I guess I should have gone out and given him a good laugh because he would have thought it quite comical but I was seriously almost in panic attack mode.
I tried to unravel it and the more I tried the worse it got stuck! Then I tried to use brute force and just yank it out but thank God I’ve got a strong scalp and I guess glue like roots because it wasn’t budging (or else I’d be walking around with a huge bald spot on the side of my head right now). I seriously stopped for a second and stared at myself in the mirror thinking “How in the heck am I going to get this freaking brush out of my hair?” I seriously even considered giving myself one of those haircuts you give yourself when you are like three and first discover scissors? You know? Hold up a section of hair and cut as close to your scalp as you can reach? NO? You guys never did that? Nor your kids?
I really, really, really did not want to go out in the living room. Then I thought… you know I’m gonna have to blog about this so I grabbed my phone and took a picture of it… Isn’t it terrible when you start thinking of stupid things you do in terms of blog posts?
Then I PRAYED that I could get the stupid brush disentangled from my hair. I mean I know they have a new Disney movie called Tangled but I had no idea that I was gonna be the live action star! Seriously – just as I was getting ready to walk into the living room so that hubby could fall on the floor laughing I felt it disengage a little which gave me renewed determination NOT to confess my idiocy to hubby. All I had wanted was to have my hair look reminiscent of Taylor Swift or even Farrah Fawcett back in the day. I just forgot that I’m not blond, or young, and my hair isn’t long enough. Instead… I ended up looking more like Carrot Top on crack!
Needless to say, I left later than I planned AND I ended up getting lost on the way there (twice) because I THOUGHT I remembered how to get there. After getting lost the first time I called her and she told me how to get there and I still ended up getting lost… I mean, temporarily misplaced, a second time. I swear I don’t know what is wrong with me! I used to be really good at directions and the older I get, the more I get misplaced…. And misplace other stuff! I’m gonna blame it on hormones. So instead of getting there like a half an hour earlier than we said I got there a half hour later.
Then….the next morning, I am heading in there again aiming for 10ish and I had only had 1 cup of coffee rather than my normal whole pot so I decided I would stop at Starbucks which is right by the interstate and get myself a cup of coffee. I turn to pull into Starbucks and the line is literally almost wrapped around the building so I tell myself that I’ll run over to McDonalds which is next door and get one of their caramel mocha coffees and a sausage McMuffin since I hadn’t eaten and I was anticipating not taking a break for lunch so I could get done quicker and get home. I’m sitting in line in McDonalds and remember that the last mocha I got from them was WAY too sweet so I decided I’d just get a tea instead to take in with me for later and if the line was down at Starbucks when I got done I’d just run back through the drive-through there since it was just next door.
I’m running all this through my mind and thinking about what I needed to do that day so I pulled up to the first window to pay and I handed her a five dollar bill, got my change and drove off! I drove straight over to Starbucks only to remember I forgot to actually get my order at McDonalds! I just completely skipped the whole second window to pick up my order. Where in the heck was my mind? So, I had to drive back to McDonalds and by now THEY had a line so I parked, got out, walked inside and did my little “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me” all the way to the front of the line with all these people looking at me like “Who the heck does she think she is, breaking in line?” I get to the counter and sheepishly admit I had just been at the drive through and paid but actually forgot to get my order.
After she finished laughing she called to the person at the window who brought my order. As I turned around to leave there were several my age women in line smirking and I just said “I’m blaming menopause! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” Suddenly it was like I had several new best friends as they all started nodding their heads like “I hear ya!” I guess nothing can bring a focus group together like hormones.
I hadn’t even told either of these stories to Hubby so this will be the first he’s heard about it so see honey??? I DO tell on myself! I did however call SuziCate after I drove off from McDonalds (with my order in hand) because I knew she’d get a big kick out of my forgetfulness. I was right…she did.