Well, Mow Me Down

You know you live in the country when you have actually met people whose living room furniture doubles as lawn maintenance equipment. Maybe I said that backwards, but, either way, you have to admit it’s pretty darn redneck. I was reminded of this story the other morning when Hubby and I were talking about “You know you live in the country when…..”  

A couple of years ago Hubby and I were eating at one of our regular “haunts” when the hostess came over to talk to us. During that time we ate at this restaurant at least once a week and the regular hostesses, waitresses and managers all knew us and at some point during our meal they would drop by our table to talk to us. This particular day the hostess had come over to tell us about her house she was buying. She was at the time living in a trailer and was very excited that she and her husband were able to save up enough to buy a house.  

She was telling us how one of the waitresses had come to her house a few evenings before and after the girl had come into her house she had turned to the hostess and said “Ummmm, you DO realize you have a riding mower in your living room, right?” Then, in all seriousness she says “And I told her ‘Well, DUH! Do you think I’m going to leave it outside so someone can steal it?” It was all Hubby and I could do NOT to bust out laughing, in her face. Thankfully we controlled ourselves because I would have hated to have hurt her feelings. At first we thought she was pulling our leg, but, no… they kept their riding mower in the living room. The waitress later confirmed it. I guess it was convenient when they didn’t feel like walking to the bathroom. Just fire that bad boy up and ride in comfort and style. I am a little curious as to how they got it into the trailer.  

I thought about that because Hubby was telling me that had he stopped at the little gas station down the street from our house the other day and while he’s walking in a guy drives up to the gas pumps on his lawn mower. Now, I don’t know whether he was running low while he was mowing the lawn and figured he may as well ride it to the store while he was in the mowing mode (didn’t he realize it would be cheaper to bring a gas can? Maybe not.). Maybe he lost his license for a DUI or something and figured if he couldn’t drive his car he’d drive his lawn mower. Either way, Hubby said that while the guy was getting off his mower the owner of the store came running out yelling at the guy saying “Didn’t I tell you not to drive your lawn mower down here anymore? You’re tearing up my parking lot!” Guess that means it wasn’t his first offense.  

Then he tells me that he had to run an errand for work the other day and noticed a new “Mom & Pop” restaurant that had opened up and the sign outside said “All You Can Eat: Fried Chicken, Fried Green Tomatoes and Boiled Peanuts”. There are just so many things wrong with that sign I don’t even know where to start. Does that mean they are the only items you get all you can eat and is each a separate price or can you eat them all together?  

A better question: Why would you WANT to? How many boiled peanuts can you eat at one sitting? I’m not sure if I’d want to eat boiled peanuts in a restaurant as part of my lunch or dinner. They are messy enough to eat and eating at those places with those roasted salted peanuts is messy enough. Can you imagine the mess that boiled peanuts would make? Where would you put the shells? Do they provide a bucket and a bib and a towel and maybe even a shower when you are through? Those things make a mess. There is really no way to eat them without making a mess. I really don’t think I want to venture in there. I know that I don’t have to eat them but I’d be stuck in the restaurant with all the rest of those people who ARE eating them.  

Our last example and the one that sparked our discussion is that typically when you live in town or at least not in the boondocks, if somewhere is off limits to the general public you will see posted signs. Am I right or am I right? And most times those signs will say something like “NO TRESPASSING” and then some combination of no loitering, no gathering, no bicycles, no skateboards, no parking, or something to that effect. Well, this morning we were walking in our subdivision and I know I have shared previously that the golf course is closed and has been for several years. Our house backs up to the driving range. There is an empty lot next to our house and that lot is a corner lot. One side of it faces our street and the other faces the cross street which leads down to the closed golf course and closed golf shop.  

For years they have had a barricade across the road but recently they have strung a cable across the road and added a posted sign. Would you like to venture what that sign says? It says “NO HUNTING”. WTH??? You would think if you live in a subdivision that would be a given. You would think that you wouldn’t have to tell people not to hunt in a populated subdivision. Obviously not. I think I have told you before that I have actually run into the hunters in the parking lot of the sales center and the hunters were the ones getting upset that the residents were walking on what they considered their hunting grounds. And our neighbors have called the police but were told that as long as they had permission from the golf course owners,(which I find highly unlikely since the builder went bankrupt and the bank took over the property) they can shoot their guns within 50 feet of a house.  

I guess as further proof that you (I) live in the boonies is that a couple of years ago I was walking out there on the golf course and came upon a golf cart parked on the side of the path. Yes, this was after the course had been closed. And the whole thing was camo print. The seats, the steering wheel covers, the canopy top, the actual vehicle… But the most redneck (and scary part) was that it also had a gun rack mounted on it! I kid you not. A camo golf cart with a gun rack! I know Jeff Foxworthy lives in the Atlanta area. I wonder if he was visiting our neighborhood? You might be a redneck IF you have one of those vehicles. Nah, I’m pretty sure there is no might in that equation.  

This is pretty much what it looked like - who knew they actually sell these things?

 

So if you want to see what true (redneck) country (boondocks) living is, yall come on down! We’d be happy to show yall around. We’ll even let you sit on the lawn mower.

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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28 Responses to Well, Mow Me Down

  1. Heather says:

    LOL! How about a motorcycle in the livingroom? Or bowling balls for hubby to use a shooting practice in the backyard? Or metal traps hanging on the wall? Yeah I think we qualify as rednecks! Hubby has been toying with the idea of getting a riding lawnmower, sure hope he doesn’t get any ideas.

    • pegbur7 says:

      LOL I hope not either, Heather. Might make it a little crowded! I grew up in a trailer so I just don’t see how in the world they could have gotten that thing in the living room! And it seems it would have been too heavy for the floor!

  2. D’aw, well, Peg – I guess it’s true and you live in the boondocks as you call it! Although, in all honesty, how secure are lawnmowers? I mean, secure in the sense of how easy is it to steal one? Because, well, I don’t know anyone with a private home and thus a lawnmower here, but seriously, if you don’t have a garage or something, and you’re worried about theft, then putting in the living room sounds pretty reasonable to me! 😛

  3. suzicate says:

    Remember when our brothers had a motorcycle in the house and that car motor hanging from the ceiling?! Crazy, huh?

  4. Fred Miller says:

    I dated one girl whose parents had a saddle right inside the front door. This was not for decoration. It was a working saddle, thrown over the top of a toolbox. Her parents have since died, and she owns the house now. The saddle is still there. The horse is dead, too.

  5. Peg, are you saying we need to move that riding lawn mower out of the living room? Oh Dear. The dogs love to pee on it when it’s cold and wet outside.

  6. Ron says:

    Now wait a minute, I live in a city and I keep my lawn mower in my living room too, what’s so strange about that?

    Bwhahahahahahhha!

    LOVE. LOVE. LOVE that last photo, Peg! I died laughing when you said it had a gun rack. How brilliant!

    Happy Monday, dear friend!

    X

    • pegbur7 says:

      I’m serious. It was a gun rack. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be scared! And yes, you need to move your lawn mower dear. the fumes aren’t good for you to be breathing in an enclosed space! LOL

  7. K Odell says:

    what are those hunters shooting?
    Boyfriend “pimps” out golf carts- you can turn them into fast, 4bying, crazy vehicles. I know one that pulls a 6 seater bar behind it.

    • pegbur7 says:

      WOW… I had no clue! And they hunt deer I guess. I’ve seen deer, fox, oppossum, armadillo, coyotes, beavers, hawks and cougars down there so I guess it could be any of those.

  8. terrepruitt says:

    I am not familiar with boiled peanuts. Why are they more messy than roasted ones?

    I am just amazed that a hunting rifle can shoot over 150 yards yet they can shoot within 50 feet of a house. I guess that will be the “rule” until someone gets shot.

    My parents live around a golf course. They don’t golf, but I have been surprised by the type of golf carts they make. You can get them anyway you wanna pay for it.

    It is funny the stuff you see in the country. It is scary the stuff you see in the cities.

    • pegbur7 says:

      Boiled peanuts are boiled so they are usually kind of wet or at least moist so it makes a lot more mess than dry shells. They are also heavier tasting to me since they are moister.

      I’d like to see some of those tricked out golf carts. And yes, living in the city presents scary stuff all it’s own.

    • terrepruitt says:

      Soggy nuts.

      Next time I am up at my parents I will try to see if I can get some pictures, but it might be winter so the carts might not be out. To fancy for rain!

  9. Carol says:

    So I guess you’d think it odd that we have the hay baler in the living room? It won’t fit in the lean-to with the mower.

    Kidding! I think I would’ve come up with some kind of system to chain the mower to a post in concrete or something – anything but in my living room. But then, I’m kind of wierd like that!

  10. Katherine says:

    Well, I have to concur with Carol. The mower stays OUTSIDE at my house. What I am wondering though is that if they are in a trailer, do they really need a riding lawn mower? How much grass do they have to cut? I mean really?

    and the boiled peanuts are a new thing for me too. Kinda sound yucky from your description, so I’ll be sticking with my dry roast or just plain ole shell on.

    I would love to say something witty about my Canadian dog-sled team in the living room or snowmobile in the drive, but I just ain’t that country, girlfriend.

    fun post though. I’ll be watching for the errant rider mower drivers ripping up the gas bars now…

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks for stopping by. I stopped by your blog and it seems you are quite the adventurer. I was gonna leave you a comment but it said the “service was unavailable”, whatever that means… I’ve been seeing that quite a bit on maybe blogger? And very good point about ther riding mower and a trailer. But, on the other hand, I grew up in a trailer and we had several acres of land. I’m not sure where theirs is, but, I guess it’s possible. Good point though!

  11. Jimmy says:

    Don’t care much for the boiled peanuts myself but do love fried chicken and fried green tomatoes.

    Now does anyone in your neighborhood have a toilet out in the front yard with flowers planted it in?–look around because I have actually seen this before 🙂

    • pegbur7 says:

      I’m with you Jimmy. I love me some fried chicken and fried grren tomatoes are good. Fried okra? Not so much…. boiled peanuts? nope, no, nah, nada, no can do. Does that sum it up? 🙂

      And no I have never seen a toilet in the front yard. We actually live in a subdivision with fairly restrictive covenants (I got a “citation” once because the property manager had a beef with my curtains that were hung in my GARAGE – she thought they were sheets which they were not) so it surprises me that they can get away with the hunting.

      • Jimmy says:

        I don’t have a problem with rules but when they get into telling you what you can and can’t do with your house is another story, I would think hunting in the area would more of a priority than curtains or even sheets hanging in your garage…I wonder if it had been a deer hanging if that would have been OK

      • pegbur7 says:

        LOL… maybe I should park a riding mower out front and see how they like it?

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