When I saw the topic of this week’s Spin Cycle was weddings, my first thought was “Gee…I’ve already told them all about that!” Then I realized not really. I’ve told you about how I stalked hubby until I let him think he caught me. And I’ve told you all about our wedding song. And I’ve told you all about my personal feelings on divorce and I’ve probably shared a few other snippets here and there but I don’t think I have actually talked about our actual wedding.
First off, we had a rather short engagement seeing as we really never had a real proposal and I had to drag it out of hubby like I was pulling his teeth. Seriously, his notion of proposing (about a month after we started dating, which was about a month after our actual real meeting – not counting the whole stalking part) was to one evening make the statement “I’ve been having some strange thoughts recently…”
Ok, I’ll bite. What kind of strange thoughts exactly were we having? He then proceeds to tell me about he’d been having strange thoughts about seeing little Asian looking kids running around (He’s half Japanese for those of you who don’t already know that). You have to realize that we did everything at record pace. From the time we actually talked (other than the stalking) it was only about two weeks before he told me that he loved me and vice versa. So, his having strange thoughts about seeing little Asian looking kids running around (about two weeks after that) should not have come as a surprise. I asked him if he was trying to ask me something and after he hemmed and hawed for a few minutes and he said:
“What if someone was to ask you to marry them, what would you say?”
Knowing exactly what he meant but of course having to give him a hard time I replied “I don’t know. I haven’t been asked. I guess it would depend on who was asking. Someone in particular?”
Again he asked me the same question and I gave him the same reply and finally out of exasperation he said “Well, ok then, what say if we’re still getting along okay by November or so… would you consider us getting married?” So, how is that for a romantic proposal? Of course, as far as I was concerned, he could have written another note and given it to his hostess to give to me and I’d have still said yes! So, when November rolled around and he still hadn’t brought it back up I gave him a couple more weeks and he still didn’t bring it up so finally I said to him “It’s November and we’re still getting along…. You still having thoughts about little Asian looking kids running around? You still wanting to get married?” This time he said yes and we were off and running.
We both worked weekends so we picked a Saturday we could both be off with Christmas rolling around and me being in retail and him in hospitality we settled on December 5. Yes, THAT December 5th that was only a few weeks off. Heck, if I waited too much longer he might have decided he didn’t want to get married after all and I had spend way too much time and energy stalking him to just let him get away! Neither of our parents lived near us and we didn’t want to burden any of them with any expense, after all, we were adults who had been on our own for several years so we decided to keep it as small as possible to keep the expenses down since we were doing it all ourselves.
I bought my dress from the JCPenney store on the sale rack and he already had his tux from some modeling thing he had done or something. I called my baby sister, SuziCate, and asked her if she wanted to be my maid of honor and told her she could wear whatever she wanted and hubby asked his best friend Laren to be his best man. I ordered the small cake from a local bakery and I called the minister we were having a bible study with and asked him if he would marry us and he said he would be delighted to.
We didn’t want to go to the expense of renting a hall or anything because we had just invited family and a few friends we worked with and went to church with and that was it, so, I called the apartment office where we lived and asked if we could get married at the clubhouse since that was where we had first laid eyes on each other and they said yes, but we couldn’t reserve it so if anyone else wanted to come in and use the facilities we would have to let them. Since it was December, we figured if we had an outdoor wedding we weren’t going to have to worry about anyone wanting to swim or boat on the lake so we got married on the deck between the pool and the lake. We did have several people come out of their apartments to watch and take pictures. They were probably thinking “Look at these two fools getting married outside in December!”
I think we timed it perfectly. We got married around 4:30 so the sun was just starting to set and by the time we took the pictures after the ceremony the sunlight made it look pretty but we had to be quick because it was setting fast. We only had about 20 people at the wedding because everyone we worked had to work because we were off! Of course hubby joked that no one could leave the ceremony because they were all frozen to their chairs. It wasn’t that cold. At least I don’t think it was. I had drank a couple of sangrias beforehand. No one in hubby’s family came. His mom was in Japan and he didn’t tell his dad until after we were married. That was fine with me. My mom and sisters did a simple little reception with finger foods and we had our cake and punch. I don’t even remember what foods we had!
There are a few things that stick in my mind about our wedding. I did have those couple glasses of sangria before the ceremony to calm my nerves and I was scared to death I was going to spill it on my ivory gown. And right before my dad walked me down the aisle, as we were getting ready to walk outside, he turned to me and said “Are you sure you wanna do this? There’s still time. We can still turn around and walk away.” Now, mind you, my dad was not really being mean. He just didn’t know hubby yet. He had only met him the day before the wedding! So, we have to cut him some slack. I assured him that yes, I did want to go through with it and he just harrumphed and said “And I thought you were the smart one!” Not sure what he meant by that.
Then as we were walking down the “aisle” my spike heels kept getting stuck in the slats of the boards of the pool deck. I seriously thought I was going to have to end up leaving my shoes there and walking the rest of the way barefoot! After I finally got it loose, I just kind of tiptoed the rest of the way so my heels didn’t really touch.
One thing you have to know is that hubby is a very tender hearted guy. I mean, he cried when we took the kids to Pocahontas! Okay, honey, I know…. You had dust in your eye… I forgot. But, seriously, every wedding we have ever been to, as soon as he sees the bride, for some reason he starts with the waterworks. It’s just that touching to him and he thinks every bride is gorgeous and it just gets to him every time. So needless to say, as soon as I walked and he saw me, the waterworks started. By the time I reached the altar, he was in full blown sobbing mode. I wouldn’t look at him because I knew if I did, then I would start too so I watched the minister who was watching hubby. I could hear him sniffling and sobbing and could see and feel his shoulders heaving the entire time so I just kept saying to myself “Don’t look at him and you will be fine!” Then I tried to look past him at the best man, Laren, but because Laren has been watching hubby, Laren starts to cry. I switch back to watching the minister but the minister is watching hubby and then he starts to cry and somewhere during all this my sister starts crying so if you had walked in off the street you’d have thought we were all being marched off to our deaths because all five of us were sobbing and sniffling like someone who’d just lost their best friend. You would have thought someone just died instead of just getting married.
Then when we went to sign our marriage license, the table we leaned on to sign, the glass fell through to the floor so we had to hold the glass on our laps to sign and witness the certificate. It was kind of funny. The only other mishap was that since there were no digital cameras back then, and we didn’t hire a “professional” photographer, a friends husband who did some photography took some pictures and my brother took some but when we got the pictures back a couple of weeks later, we realized that neither of them were used to taking the picture of someone so tall and they were both concentrating on me being in the picture since I was the bride so most of the pictures have the top of hubby’s head cut off. Poor baby! He thought for sure that my brother did it on purpose because he didn’t think my brother liked him. I told him it was just because they weren’t paying attention.
I think all in all and the fact that it was all planned and executed in less than a month, we did a pretty stand up job. The main point is that 28 years later we are still together so the marriage stuck, heck with the actual wedding. As the song said…Always And Forever!
Since Jen said we aren’t going to do a Spin Cycle next week maybe I’ll use next week to tell you about our daughter’s wedding. Now THAT is a story!