To Blog Or Not To Blog

I am going to apologize in advance for this post and warn you that if you’re looking for the funny family story this morning, you might want to skip today and go to someone else’s blog. If you’re still here, then please bear with me on this post because I’m probably going to ramble and maybe even rant and rave but I have a lot on my mind. This week has been a challenging week for me and due to events and circumstances I have given a lot of thought to why I blog and what kind of person I am. 

I was accused of blogging because I like to stir up drama and that I have no life.  I actually think that quite the opposite is true on both counts.  I started blogging because other people told me I should because they enjoyed the stories I had to tell. I continue blogging because I enjoy it, my family (mostly  :-)) enjoys reading it and because I feel I am creating a “history” so to speak that my kids can refer back to so as to remember the things we have been through as a family.  The things I write about before their time or that are just about me, I feel these posts give them more insight into their mother and why I may feel how I do about things and that allows them to have a better understanding of who I am as a person. 

As for drama, I think I’ve posted before about how I feel about drama. I try to live a peaceful existence. That doesn’t mean that there is never drama in my life but I try my best not to create it or add to it and I try to steer clear of it. Despite my best intentions I am sometimes pulled into the middle of it and usually kicking and screaming because I really do detest it. There is enough drama in the world without me adding to it. If I wanted more drama I’d have been an actress! 

I have also been accused of “hiding behind” my blog because I don’t always use people’s real names. I think that is pretty standard with a lot of bloggers. It’s not that I am trying to hide who I am. I don’t care who knows who I am or that I blog but I do try to take into consideration the identity and lives of my family and friends because not everyone likes others to know their business. There are a lot of “crazies” out there so it’s best to not necessarily put 100% of your personal information out there. As evidenced by my daughter’s identity being stolen last week, there are a lot of dishonest people out there that will use any information they can get their hands on to do bad things. I feel more that I am protecting my family and friends not hiding behind them or my blog. If I were trying to hide I most definitely would not have called my blog “Square Peg in a Round Hole” since Peg IS my name. If I was truly trying to hide my identity I would have used a name totally unassociated with my real name and I most definitely would not have used a real picture of myself and my husband nor would I put real family pictures of my family on my blog. So, that being said, no I am not trying to HIDE, but, I do err on the side of caution with family members and friends. 

Our family at #1's Wedding - real family, real wedding

I blog because I DO have a life. I have a lot of weird and interesting things that happen to my family and me and some people enjoy reading about it. Yes, blogging is time consuming. I didn’t do it while I still had kids at home and still in school who depended on me daily. My husband and I are empty nesters so that affords me more time to record our stories that are the history of our lives together and with our kids. Some of our stories are humorous and I think some people enjoy hearing about them. If they don’t they don’t have to read them and to the person who told me that NO ONE cared about my “stories” and to get a life… I do have a life. I have a very RICH life (not necessarily in money) filled with family and friends and adventures that I would not trade anyone for. 

I’m not meaning to be harsh and this is not aimed at any of my regular readers, whom I adore, but if you don’t like reading my blog or about my life… DON’T. Please don’t waste another moment of your time reading about me if you find me so boring and pathetic. I happen to love my life and don’t plan to stop anytime soon. 

My husband has often told me that I have an uncanny ability to “attract crazies”  (who is crazier than me?) and get along with people that no one else can stand to be around.  That has never been more apparent to me than this past week.  I truly don’t understand some people and have frankly gotten tired of trying and of tip toeing around certain people. 

I have come to the conclusion, or maybe a better word would be realization, that there is a BIG difference between being “honest” and being “brutal”.  Brutally honest is hot always being a friend.  I also feel (personal opinion here) that there are different “degrees”, if you will, of being honest.  You can be honest with people without being cruel or brash.  Being downright mean, cruel and insulting to people, hiding behind the label of honesty and saying that being honest gives you the right to purposely hurt someone or lash out at someone, in my opinion, is worse than lying.  And lying doesn’t always mean being purposely deceitful or dishonest.  There are always gray areas.  Not everything is always in black and white.  I try to live my life as honestly as possible without purposely hurting someone else.  If omitting the truth or slightly bending it means I am a liar then I guess I’m a liar because I am NOT going to purposely go out of my way to lash out verbally or otherwise at someone to where it would hurt or possibly devastate someone else. I would rather hurt myself than to say something I know would purposely hurt someone else.  

Sometimes you have to pick your battles in order to “keep the peace”.  Sometimes I’d rather keep the peace even if it means not telling someone I think they are making a complete ass of themselves especially if I know (maybe due to a person’s mental or emotional deficiencies) that telling them that would just start a firestorm that would leave everything in their wake in charred ruins.  It is sometimes best to let that person make an ass of him or herself and pick up the pieces afterwards.  And sometimes NOT telling someone 100% the complete and brutal truth could be due to the fact that you are trying to spare their feelings.  Being less than 100% honest in this instance IS being a friend.  Sometimes you deal with fragile egos and emotional instabilities and it might be better to build up that person than to say something that although true would only serve to further bruise an already tenuous relationship or person.  I am not that cruel. 

As I have related before, life is WAY too short to create more drama or deal with negative people whose only aim seems to be to make everyone around them as miserable as they are. I don’t have time or energy for that.  Although I do try to play peacekeeper and I do try to build people up rather than tear them down, I also do not have time to deal with miserable people who are only going to try to bring me and others down with them.  I have much better things to do with my time and my life. 

I can’t continue to walk on eggshells my whole life.  And although I am not aiming this at anyone in particular but in general, if you think you see yourself as being someone I would be writing this about, then maybe you might want to take a good hard look in the mirror.  I know I have taken a good hard look in the mirror and I happen to like what I see. I see someone who tries to be as honest as possible, to the best of her recollection, while trying not to intentionally hurt anyone.   I will continue to use pseudonyms when I feel the need to protect someone’s identity or if I feel using real names is not relevant to the story. 

I make it a point to try to be someone who builds people up and who tries to make a positive difference in others lives, not be a constant emotional drain or someone that people like to see GO AWAY.  I try to make people feel better about their selves and help them, in turn, be a positive influence in the lives of those around them.  

I absolutely believe in “paying it forward” and I think I do more good for those around me than bad.  I want to be someone who leaves this earth a nicer place than what she found it.  I want to make a difference, a POSITIVE difference.  If that means fighting a few bears, hugging a few trees, kissing a few toads and walking away with a few scratches because of it, then that is what I’ll do.  If you think that makes me a “wimp” or a lesser person, then I feel sorry for you because that means you don’t care about the people around you.  I feel better now that I got that off my chest and I hope you’ll be back to read my posts again when I’m not on my soapbox.

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
This entry was posted in Just Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to To Blog Or Not To Blog

  1. terrepruitt says:

    You go! I really do hope you feel better because I sense that you got kinda rattled by someone. Poohey on them. Yay for you.

    Get it out. Get it off your chest. Get support from your readers — like me, who is a far away stanger, but who things of you as a blogger friend.

    I am glad you are going to keep blogging. I enjoy reading. And I enjoy our comments back and forth. Hugs and cheers to you!!!

  2. Angelia Sims says:

    Hang tough cookie. I like you and your stories. Good or bad. I hope this post helps you move forward. Blogging can be a nice release. You are all they matters. 🙂

  3. Ron says:

    Gooood morning, my dear friend!

    Ya know, I think it’s kinda ironic that someone would accuse someone else of blogging because they don’t have a life, when in fact, THEY blog (or spend HOURS on Facebook), so I guess THEY don’t have a life either.

    HA!

    Great vent post, Peg! You GO, girl!

    “I want to be someone who leaves this earth a nicer place than what she found it. I want to make a difference, a POSITIVE difference.”

    Which you always do, so keep on blogging!

    (((( Peg ))))

    X

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks for the POSITIVE comments and feedback! 🙂 I do appreciate it and your friendship.

      And I don’t intend to stop blogging. It’s a release for me. I just happen to be at a point in my life that we can “afford” for me to spend my time doing what I love which happens to be connecting with friends, whether in real or virtually and writing and reading. I love my life!

      {{{{Ron}}}} right back at you babe! 😉

  4. Alaina says:

    Ugh, I hate to hear this…this is exactly why I don’t share my blog with my family because I don’t want it to start problems. Hang in there, though…and you’re right – a lot of people (myself included) don’t include names on their blog. It’s for the benefit of those I love, not because I’m hiding behind anything. Sorry to hear you so down…

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Sweetie. Not really down so much as pissed! LOL I will get over it though. Can’t keep me down. I get mad, I vent, I get over it, I move on. I’m moving on! Thanks for the affirmation that I am not alone! 🙂

  5. Jimmy says:

    Very Good Rant there Lady,

    You are so right on so many points here, and a good rant once in a while is a big part of blogging in my opinion as we all have done it once in a while.

    As for me I enjoy the friendship we are slowly building and appreciate the kindness you have always shown me and if you ever need to vent about anything I am here for you, as far as the family stories and everything else you write I will be there too–but you already knew that 🙂

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Jimmy. I appreciate your kindness as well. I don’t think that people who don’t blog understand the real relationship and friendships you can build with people you’ve never met personally. But having read so much about each others lives they become as close as family and you feel like you ARE a part of their life and their family. That’s the way I feel anyway! But what do I know? I’m just a psycho blogger with no life, right? hahahaha

      • Jimmy says:

        Hey Peg I feel the same way, and if getting close to people and making friendships that are as close as family is a bad thing because we blog, then add me to that psycho blogger category because I like it here 🙂

      • pegbur7 says:

        Me too Jimmy! Count me in as a crazy psycho blogger! 😉

  6. Peg, I hate that you had to deal with this. I say a lot of things, some true, some in jest, and I really don’t want to offend anyone. But I will say, it’s my blog, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it. I will not censor what I write ever. If it offends you, don’t read it. I feel that you are letting someone mean spirited get to you. Don’t. They can just move on.

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Linda. I’m beginning to see it more and more your way. I appreciate your kind words and I’m growing a thicker skin. Or trying to anyway!

  7. Susie says:

    Hi Peg…first I want to thank you for the kind comments you left on my blog. I am just catching up on things as I am feeling much better and more fit every day. I agree with all you have said above. Blogging is an interesting thing. I have thought about it a lot lately and why I do it too. I think at first I, like most other bloggers, felt a deep need to express my feelings and be heard by others. I used to post a link to it on my facebook and could not wait to read what everyone thought. The responses were quite important to me I figured out and I needed to analyze why that was. Anyhow, it has been seven months since I started blogging and now my reasons are totally different. I am not looking for the accolades I once was. In fact, I even shut my Facebook down and now only write for my fellow bloggers…because in some way I know they are the only ones who appreciate and actually “get” why I do this at all. In addition, I do it for the the other reasons you stated…for my kids as a kind of personal legacy. My daughter actually told me she appreciated it for just that reason…so she could always know how her mom felt about this or that. I say go on and do what you have been successfully doing and the heck with anyone who doesn’t get it. I think you are doing just great and I am now one of your devoted followers!

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Susie. I truly appreciate your kind words and your “followship”? Is that even a word> LOL I guess I made it one. I really don’t people who have never blogged actually get that you can deveop real relationships with fellow bloggers. I know I didn’t get it at first when my sister used to tell me about her blog and her followers until I actually posted for her myself and in turn started blogging myself. And you are so right in that the reasons change. It’s nice to have people read what you write and enjoy it but I write now because I want to and because I have unleashed this monster that craves writing and creativity. I have unleashed the somewhat creative side that I had stifled for years and I like it! Thanks so much for stopping by.

  8. terrepruitt says:

    An additional thought for you, Dear: I am of the understanding that it is somewhat common courtesy to NOT name names in a blog post. So I am thinking that the person that said you were hiding by not using names doesn’t understand common courtesies of the internet. I could also be the one not understanding. But I don’t name names unless I have asked permission and/or am helping promote someone or something. I thought that was kind of an internet “rule” or standard, as you said. 🙂

  9. Heather says:

    Woohoo! You tell’em! Great rant and I bet you do feel better.

    Now, who was this moron that had the nerve to say junk to you? They seriously need their hiney’s booted!

    Who ever you are…don’t mess with her!

    I just can’t get over someone telling you junk like that! It is your blog and if they don’t like it then they can just go away and leave you alone. Not ALL opinions need to be voiced.

    Okay I think I have calmed now. We love ya and don’t let them get to ya. People say mean things, cause they have a defect they don’t like in themselves.

  10. LisaF says:

    I’m so behind on blog reading…looks like I missed some late Independence Day fireworks! Perhaps “those” people are the ones that don’t have lives, and are secretly jealous of yours. They sound cynical and bitter. There’s nothing you can do to change that.

    Most of my family doesn’t understand the blog thing either. No matter. I’m addicted…to writing and reading them. I don’t include names either for safety reasons.

    Just keep going exactly the way you’ve been going. You have a strong following that far outnumbers the critics.

    • pegbur7 says:

      Thanks Lisa. I don’t plan to let them stop me but it does make you pause for a millisecond to ponder. Ok, millisecond is over, I’m still gonna blog! 🙂

  11. Teri Smieja says:

    It never fails to amaze me that people like that exist? You blog. So what? Who has the right to criticize you for that? I like your answer, and have actually said it myself “If you don’t like it, don’t read it!”

    Best of luck in avoiding any more people like this.

  12. Pingback: Why DO I expose myself? « Square Peg in a Round Hole

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