I am going to apologize in advance for this post and warn you that if you’re looking for the funny family story this morning, you might want to skip today and go to someone else’s blog. If you’re still here, then please bear with me on this post because I’m probably going to ramble and maybe even rant and rave but I have a lot on my mind. This week has been a challenging week for me and due to events and circumstances I have given a lot of thought to why I blog and what kind of person I am.
I was accused of blogging because I like to stir up drama and that I have no life. I actually think that quite the opposite is true on both counts. I started blogging because other people told me I should because they enjoyed the stories I had to tell. I continue blogging because I enjoy it, my family (mostly :-)) enjoys reading it and because I feel I am creating a “history” so to speak that my kids can refer back to so as to remember the things we have been through as a family. The things I write about before their time or that are just about me, I feel these posts give them more insight into their mother and why I may feel how I do about things and that allows them to have a better understanding of who I am as a person.
As for drama, I think I’ve posted before about how I feel about drama. I try to live a peaceful existence. That doesn’t mean that there is never drama in my life but I try my best not to create it or add to it and I try to steer clear of it. Despite my best intentions I am sometimes pulled into the middle of it and usually kicking and screaming because I really do detest it. There is enough drama in the world without me adding to it. If I wanted more drama I’d have been an actress!
I have also been accused of “hiding behind” my blog because I don’t always use people’s real names. I think that is pretty standard with a lot of bloggers. It’s not that I am trying to hide who I am. I don’t care who knows who I am or that I blog but I do try to take into consideration the identity and lives of my family and friends because not everyone likes others to know their business. There are a lot of “crazies” out there so it’s best to not necessarily put 100% of your personal information out there. As evidenced by my daughter’s identity being stolen last week, there are a lot of dishonest people out there that will use any information they can get their hands on to do bad things. I feel more that I am protecting my family and friends not hiding behind them or my blog. If I were trying to hide I most definitely would not have called my blog “Square Peg in a Round Hole” since Peg IS my name. If I was truly trying to hide my identity I would have used a name totally unassociated with my real name and I most definitely would not have used a real picture of myself and my husband nor would I put real family pictures of my family on my blog. So, that being said, no I am not trying to HIDE, but, I do err on the side of caution with family members and friends.
I blog because I DO have a life. I have a lot of weird and interesting things that happen to my family and me and some people enjoy reading about it. Yes, blogging is time consuming. I didn’t do it while I still had kids at home and still in school who depended on me daily. My husband and I are empty nesters so that affords me more time to record our stories that are the history of our lives together and with our kids. Some of our stories are humorous and I think some people enjoy hearing about them. If they don’t they don’t have to read them and to the person who told me that NO ONE cared about my “stories” and to get a life… I do have a life. I have a very RICH life (not necessarily in money) filled with family and friends and adventures that I would not trade anyone for.
I’m not meaning to be harsh and this is not aimed at any of my regular readers, whom I adore, but if you don’t like reading my blog or about my life… DON’T. Please don’t waste another moment of your time reading about me if you find me so boring and pathetic. I happen to love my life and don’t plan to stop anytime soon.
My husband has often told me that I have an uncanny ability to “attract crazies” (who is crazier than me?) and get along with people that no one else can stand to be around. That has never been more apparent to me than this past week. I truly don’t understand some people and have frankly gotten tired of trying and of tip toeing around certain people.
I have come to the conclusion, or maybe a better word would be realization, that there is a BIG difference between being “honest” and being “brutal”. Brutally honest is hot always being a friend. I also feel (personal opinion here) that there are different “degrees”, if you will, of being honest. You can be honest with people without being cruel or brash. Being downright mean, cruel and insulting to people, hiding behind the label of honesty and saying that being honest gives you the right to purposely hurt someone or lash out at someone, in my opinion, is worse than lying. And lying doesn’t always mean being purposely deceitful or dishonest. There are always gray areas. Not everything is always in black and white. I try to live my life as honestly as possible without purposely hurting someone else. If omitting the truth or slightly bending it means I am a liar then I guess I’m a liar because I am NOT going to purposely go out of my way to lash out verbally or otherwise at someone to where it would hurt or possibly devastate someone else. I would rather hurt myself than to say something I know would purposely hurt someone else.
Sometimes you have to pick your battles in order to “keep the peace”. Sometimes I’d rather keep the peace even if it means not telling someone I think they are making a complete ass of themselves especially if I know (maybe due to a person’s mental or emotional deficiencies) that telling them that would just start a firestorm that would leave everything in their wake in charred ruins. It is sometimes best to let that person make an ass of him or herself and pick up the pieces afterwards. And sometimes NOT telling someone 100% the complete and brutal truth could be due to the fact that you are trying to spare their feelings. Being less than 100% honest in this instance IS being a friend. Sometimes you deal with fragile egos and emotional instabilities and it might be better to build up that person than to say something that although true would only serve to further bruise an already tenuous relationship or person. I am not that cruel.
As I have related before, life is WAY too short to create more drama or deal with negative people whose only aim seems to be to make everyone around them as miserable as they are. I don’t have time or energy for that. Although I do try to play peacekeeper and I do try to build people up rather than tear them down, I also do not have time to deal with miserable people who are only going to try to bring me and others down with them. I have much better things to do with my time and my life.
I can’t continue to walk on eggshells my whole life. And although I am not aiming this at anyone in particular but in general, if you think you see yourself as being someone I would be writing this about, then maybe you might want to take a good hard look in the mirror. I know I have taken a good hard look in the mirror and I happen to like what I see. I see someone who tries to be as honest as possible, to the best of her recollection, while trying not to intentionally hurt anyone. I will continue to use pseudonyms when I feel the need to protect someone’s identity or if I feel using real names is not relevant to the story.
I make it a point to try to be someone who builds people up and who tries to make a positive difference in others lives, not be a constant emotional drain or someone that people like to see GO AWAY. I try to make people feel better about their selves and help them, in turn, be a positive influence in the lives of those around them.
I absolutely believe in “paying it forward” and I think I do more good for those around me than bad. I want to be someone who leaves this earth a nicer place than what she found it. I want to make a difference, a POSITIVE difference. If that means fighting a few bears, hugging a few trees, kissing a few toads and walking away with a few scratches because of it, then that is what I’ll do. If you think that makes me a “wimp” or a lesser person, then I feel sorry for you because that means you don’t care about the people around you. I feel better now that I got that off my chest and I hope you’ll be back to read my posts again when I’m not on my soapbox.