Foot in Mouth Disease

Putting your foot in your mouth


 The topic I chose for this weeks writing assignment was #5) Describe a moment when you put your foot in your mouth. 

 Here goes: 

It seems to me that many times alcohol in the body and foot in the mouth disease go hand in hand.  I have had numerous (too many to count) instances of foot in mouth disease but one in particular stands out because I’ve had the same thing happen to me SINCE that incident.  Yeah, Karma…. She CAN be a bitch, can’t she? 

Years and years and years ago, when I lived in North Carolina and was still a skinny little PYT I was at a pool party at the apartment complex where I lived.  Many of the people I worked with were also at this party, most of them men I worked with who brought their wives.  I knew one of the men’s wives was pregnant (yeah, you can see where this is going… can’t you?) but hadn’t seen her for quite a while.  She has on one of those smocked topped sun dresses that is kind of fitted at the top and then poufy and free flowing at the bottom.  

I sidle up to her, drink in hand (and many more in the belly) and sweetly ask “So…. When’s your baby due?” 

Wife:     Six weeks ago. 

Me: (the sound of her words flying right over my head) You’ve got six more weeks?  You don’t look THAT pregnant! (laughing at my own joke) 

Wife:  (glaring at me) NO… I said six weeks AGO… 

Me:   (still not getting the picture because I got too many drinks) HUH? 

Wife:  (daggers flying from her eyes) I had him SIX WEEKS AGO…. Thank you very much!!! 

Oops…… I don’t think I was even coherent enough to apologize but coherent enough to realize I had just made a MAJOR faux pas.  I avoided her the rest of the night. 

That is why YEARS later,  after I had given birth MANY months before and had already had my tubes tied (there’s that bitch Karma, rearing her ugly little head) when I had someone ask me when I was due, I tried to inject a little humor into the situation by a simple answer “The 12th….”  Followed by a LONG pause…. Followed by “of never.”


About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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26 Responses to Foot in Mouth Disease

  1. terrepruitt says:

    Yeah, my husband and I have a rule that we follow. You NEVER as a woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out!

  2. I have heard this scenario from many other people, in many cases where the lady was not anywhere near having been pregnant at all. I guess it is more common than we think. LOL.

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.

  3. suzicate says:

    I go with Terre’s advice…I learned that the hard way, too!

  4. Ron says:

    Oh dear god, I can’t believe you shared this because this SAME THING has happened to me before!!!

    I turned beat red and then apologized to the woman a hundred times, which made it worse.

    *insert foot in my mouth*

    I wish I had heard Terrepruitt’s rule before I did this.

    “You NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out!”


    Hope you’re having a super day, Peg!


    • pegbur7 says:

      Yes, dear, Ron… sometimes I think I must have BOTH feet hanging out the sides of my mouth constantly!

      Never claimed to be REAL bright, now, did I? 🙂

  5. I love that rule! I’ve been so tempted to say “Oh, when is your baby due?” but have bitten my tongue not to say it!

  6. Heather says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry for you! That’s a tough one to recover from. I found that after my first son was born I had babies on my brain, I assumed anyone with a belly MUST be pregnant. Fortunately I was able to keep my mouth shut.

    Thanks for commenting on my blog! I’m new to Mama Kat’s, this is really fun. 🙂

  7. KLZ says:

    Over from Mama Kat’s…

    And my baby is due the second Tuesday of next week.

  8. Jenners says:

    Karma is a bitch, isn’t it? : )
    And I love how you just made it worse and worse and worse …

  9. Hadassah says:

    Some things are just funny in retrospect. I’ve eaten my foot all the way up to my knee at times…

    The 12th of never…lol

  10. Melissa says:

    That is so funny! Someone did that to me at a funeral! She was all like, oh another bun in the oven I see? I was bouncing my 3, maybe 4 week old on my hip wondering if she even understood biology! I know never, EVER as someone if their pregnant!

  11. Jimmy says:

    Bad thing about this one Peg is the more you try to recover from this one the deeper your foot seems to go :^0

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