I am a procrastinator. I put things off sometimes until they almost seem overwhelming and then I panic and try to get them done, my heart racing. Sometimes I wonder if I don’t do this on purpose? Maybe I like that panic driven adrenaline rush? Maybe I’m just stupid?
At the moment I am also experiencing a moment of wanderlust. I think that might be due to the fact that I had myself all psyched up for our little 3 day weekend to Florida that fell through. I had really looked forward to it and then was disappointed when it didn’t happen. Just as well.
I plan (to NOT plan – more on that in a minute) to go to North Carolina next week to see a very dear friend who is ill. I usually try to be kind of orderly in planning things ahead and having a plan worked out. BUT… every once in a while I get this wild hair. And I don’t want to “subject” anyone else to my moments of whimsy and/or frenzy therefore I am taking this trip by myself. I just want to hit the open road and go where the mood takes me. Hence, my NOT plan. I do PLAN to see my friend in Wilmington and I PLAN to spend a day or so with another friend in Myrtle Beach but I have no definite plans of what I am going to do or when. I just want to kind of roam for the week.
I used to live in North Carolina YEARS and YEARS ago. I have lived in several different cities in North Carolina and it’s been many years since I have been there other than just passing through. It would be nice to visit these places to see how much they have changed over the years. I also have several friends that still live there scattered across the state. All of the places are a couple of hours apart. Since I am currently underemployed at the moment and I don’t know when these same circumstances may duplicate themselves, I thought it was the perfect time to kill a few birds with one stone.
Since I don’t plan to bring anyone with me and I won’t be at the mercy of someone else’s boredom or need for structure the only person I need to please with my agenda (or lack thereof) is myself. I can feel free to take my time and be on my own schedule and go when and where the mood takes me. Let the undercurrent in my soul take me where it wants to go. If I want to be lazy and take my time getting up and getting ready to go to wherever my next stop is going to be, then so be it. If I want to stay with friends, and it doesn’t inconvenience them, I will. If things work out that at the end of the night I am NOT near a friends or it works out that it’s NOT convenient, then I’ll find a nice little inexpensive hotel and stay the night.
Hey, if I get a wild enough hair, I might even make the trek to Biltmore that I have wanted to go to for YEARS by myself. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else hurrying me up or rolling their eyes or the heavy sighs. I can do it on my own timeframe. Or maybe not… maybe I’ll find myself walking the beach somewhere or finding another friend to spend some time with. Or even somewhere I’ve never been?
I’m just gonna let the wind blow my little wander lusting soul wherever it wants. Let my inner voice guide me and let myself be….. me!