Confessions of a None-Time Supermodel

Confession time

Confession Time: 

I am NOT a supermodel.  I know, I know…. Shocked aren’t you?  And I never have been.  I just thought I’d clear the air there. Seriously, though, I am taking part in Sprite’s Keeper’s Spin Cycle.  The topic for this week: 

Spin Cycle: It’s time to confess!

You know you did it. Whatever it is, it can’t be THAT bad! Just Spin it up, spit it out, and send it here! All will be forgiven! 

Here goes: 

Many many many years ago, I was in Macon, Georgia for the weekend with my kids.  It was summertime and we were there for a Bible convention.  We were staying I think at the Ramada Inn. I can’t remember for sure.  It was a 4 day conference and it was the end of the second day and the kids had been good all day (relatively speaking) considering they had sat all day in the convention center except at lunch time.  After dinner we got our swim suits on and went down to relax in the pool. 

We had been in the pool maybe an hour and it was starting to get kind of dusky and I was on the shallow end of the pool when I stepped on something at felt a little WEIRD.  I couldn’t really see to the bottom since it was starting to get a little dark and since I have what Hubby calls “possum toes” (he always said he was amazed at what I could pick up with my toes when I was pregnant) I tried to wrap my toes around it to pick it up and see what it was.  

Well. “it” kind of squished between my toes and then I had to lift my foot out of the water only to realize I had stepped on a TURD…. Yup, you got it… a HUMAN turd.  What can be grosser than stepping on a human turd?  Not knowing where said turd came from.  I was beside myself.  Here is a WHOLE pool full of people with their kids and I get to be the recipient of the TURD AWARD.  Yeah, I know I should have felt honored that out of ALL those people out there that I was the one chosen to be honored. 

I grabbed my kids out of the pool and wrapped a towel around them and myself and tried to get the attention of one of the hotel employees to get them to come and clean said award out of the pool and to put more bleach, or chlorine or insecticide or whatever they needed to clean it up!  I couldn’t get her attention so I finally had a friend watch my kids for a minute so I could go in to the desk and not have to drag them in, wet and dripping.  

I go in and  let them have it.  How could they not make sure something like that wasn’t cleaned up before they let all those families with kids get in the pool.  I have to confess that I may not have had the most “Christian” attitude.  I should have handled it better I suppose.  I ended up going back out and getting my kids and storming back up to my room to get them ready for bed.  How dare they! 

I had all but one in bed and settling in for sleep when one of my daughters,  I will not say WHICH one since I promised her I would never tell on her, looked up at me with her big brown eyes while I was drying her off and getting her dressed, and said “I’m sorry, mommy.” 

Me:  What have you got to be sorry about sweetie? 

Daughter:  About the pool. 

Me:  Sweetie, it’s not YOUR fault.  You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to finish swimming. 

Daughter:  But I didn’t mean to. 

Me (color draining from my face):  You didn’t mean to WHAT? 

Daughter:  You know… poopie in the pool… 

Sad puppy dog eyes looking up at me…. 

Me:  That was you?  (now I am really feeling like an idiot) 

Daughter:  But I just thought I had to poot and it slipped out! 

Me:  Why didn’t you tell me while we were in the pool?  And before I went into the office? 

Daughter:  I’m sorry.  I didn’t want us to have to stop swimming. We were having too much fun. 

Yes, we were.  We were.  I think that was the operative word.  

So, my confession is that MY KID was the little turd dropper and no, I never went and apologized to the management even though I probably should have…. But I was as embarrassed to tell THEM as she had been to confess to me.  I am just proud that she finally DID confess to me. Maybe I should take a lesson from my kid, huh?  And I guess Karma in action?  I guess I DID deserve that award after all!  After all, I did act like a turd, didn’t I? 😦

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About pegbur7

South of the Mason/Dixon Line
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14 Responses to Confessions of a None-Time Supermodel

  1. Oh my Goodness! I think I would have done the same thing, both before my daughter confessed and after! I just repeated your story to John and he had a great laugh over it. He remembers the few times Sprite left a floater in the bathtub. 🙂
    You’re forgiven and linked!

  2. Angelia Sims says:

    HA.HA.HA.

    Oh man! The irony! The poot betrayed you all. 😀
    This was good. I KNOW it wasn’t funny at the time but, man it’s good now.

    • pegbur7 says:

      I know. She texted me last night to ask me which one of them it was. I said You don’t remember? She was like OMG Was I the turd dropper? I must have blaacked it out so I wouldn’t have to live with the memory! She is too funny!

  3. suzicate says:

    I’m cracking up, and I know WHO it was. Shall I “drop” her a message to remind her? That’s one to give you guys laughs for years to come. Great spin!

  4. LMAO! This is wonderful! I love the image of Raging Peg giving those poor desk people “what for” while her darling baby girl just made her eyes big! This is absolutely hilarious!

  5. gregjohn says:

    Good funny story,
    Thanks

  6. Ron says:

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    OMG, Peg….I laughed until I HOWLED!

    How funny you are!

    This post was PRICELESS!

    And hey, listen…I too would have not gone back to management to apologize. But then again..I AM a turd!

    Hahahahahahahaha!

    Thanks for the wonderful laugh!

    • pegbur7 says:

      Ron,
      You are too funny. My daughter texted me last night to ask who did this and I asked her didn’t she remember and she said “OMG. I was the turd dropper?” Then said “how am I gonna live with myslef knowing I shit in a public pool like a homeless person??? Obviously I had blocked this memory for a good reason!” She had me in tears I was laughing so hard. So I guess I did instill a sense if humor in her? Thanks for stopping by again.

  7. VandyJ says:

    I can only hope my boys don’t ever put me in that position. I’ve spent enough time cleaning up what comes out of their rear ends. I also would have kept it quiet as to who the real culprit was. And somehow I am reminded of the poop scene in Caddyshack. Yes I live with guys.

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